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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914829">Everything On The Ice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/livixbobbiex/pseuds/livixbobbiex'>livixbobbiex</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Assassination Classroom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Skating, Bad Parenting, ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating, M/M, Minor Injuries, Yukimura Aguri is alive because I say so</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:00:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/livixbobbiex/pseuds/livixbobbiex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Red, yards of flowing red, flowing behind him like a breeze with every movement of his arms. Red to match his signature hair, red to match the passion he practically melted the surface with. He was a burning flame taking ownership of the ice. He did whatever he wanted without fear. And yet, he was so smart, it was like he could do anything. Calling him a force of nature wasn’t quite enough. He was his own element entirely. </p><p>To put it simply, Nagisa looked up to Karma. There were multiple more complicated ways of putting it, but Nagisa didn’t have the capacity to go through those emotions right then. </p><p>----</p><p>A VERY loosely inspired Yuri! On Ice AU. Do not have to have watched YOI to understand this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa, Korosensei/Yukimura Aguri</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Assassination Classroom Big Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Spring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My Piece for big bang 2020! Thank you so much to <a href="https://pinklovely05.tumblr.com/">Pinklovely</a> for the amazing artwork! </p><p> </p><p>A few notes: this fic is just a bit of fun and is in no way a fully accurate representation of what goes on in actual competitive figure skating. Some things are just here for plot drama and would never happen in reality, but it's just a bit of fun. Also, since the whole Aguri trauma isn't here, Kayano is being referred to as Akari because it made more sense to me. </p><p>I've attempted to make this fic accessible to the non figure skating otaku, but here are a couple of terms: </p><p>Axel, lutz, loop, toe loop, salchow, flip - different types of jumps<br/>Quad - a version of those jumps with four rotations<br/>JSF - Japanese skating federation, the main body that governs the Japanese skating world<br/>Grand Prix Series - the first MAJOR competition of the international skating season. Skaters get allocated to two of six possible competitions, and the six highest scorers end up competing at the final<br/>Skate guards - some hard covers you put over the blades of your ice skates so you don't make them go dull when you wear them off the ice.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was a genius.</p><p>Red, yards of flowing red, flowing behind him like a breeze with every movement of his arms. Red to match his signature hair, red to match the passion he practically melted the surface with. He was a burning flame taking ownership of the <em>ice</em>. He did whatever he wanted without fear. And yet, he was so smart, it was like he could do anything. Calling him a force of nature wasn’t quite enough. He was his own element entirely.</p><p>To put it simply, Nagisa looked up to Karma. There were multiple more complicated ways of putting it, but Nagisa didn’t have the capacity to go through <em>those</em> emotions right then.</p><p>The thrumming of drums vibrated throughout the arena. Vaguely, the rest of the rock music registered in Nagisa’s ears, but he could barely hear it. No, he was far more entranced, so close to the barrier like that, with the scratch of his blades against the ice. That was the only thing he could really hear. Truly it didn’t even matter what music Karma skated to. No matter what, he managed to make it the most beautiful thing Nagisa’s eyes were capable of comprehending. They could never be on the same stage.</p><p>Except, that time they <em>were</em>.</p><p>“Look <em>alive</em>, Nagisa,” Shiota Hiromi, the coach from hell and also his mother, barked. “You’re up next.”</p><p>“But- “</p><p>Annoyance flashed on her face. “Do you know how hard I’ve worked to get you here, to get a shot at Nationals?”</p><p>Nagisa looked down, turning away from the ice. “Yes, Mum.”</p><p>How unlucky could he be, to draw the position right after The Red Devil himself?</p>
<hr/><p>SPRING</p>
<hr/><p>Whenever nobody else was around, Nagisa actually liked the ice. He’d spent so much of his life training on it, so naturally it was as easy as walking to him. His mother had already paid for private ice time for the entire competitive season, after all, and apparently they didn’t take refunds. <em>Practise harder</em>, she’d shouted at him, <em>don’t let me down next year</em>. He attempted to launch into a triple axel, but his footing was completely wrong, and he fell <em>hard</em>.</p><p>The ice tasted like failure.</p><p>When he first decided to become a figure skater, he’d known that falling was a big part of it. The first time he’d slipped over, getting a little too bold at the age of four, he’d sobbed for ten minutes. To that day, he wasn’t exactly sure what had caused him to pick himself back up again and keep skating. But he <em>had</em>, and now he had a life on the ice. If only he was good enough for it to matter.</p><p>‘Semi-professional’ sounded like a joke to him, just like someone who took their hobbies a little bit too seriously. What was the point in dedicating his entire life towards something he wasn’t even good enough to do properly? Skipping out on high school, spending every sunrise on the ice, and every other hour of daylight on some other kind of training? It would be an inspiring story, he was sure, if he actually made it into the big leagues.</p><p>And Nagisa hadn’t made it. He’d had a <em>shot</em>, at Nationals. Sure, he hadn’t expected a win, not with Akabane Karma and Asano Gakushuu competing in the same line up. But it had been a chance to get noticed, to get his name out there so the Japanese skating authorities might seriously consider entering him into some of the international competitions. Even if he miraculously improved, though, he was sure there was no way he could come back with such a failure tarnishing his name.</p><p>The only mercy turned out to be Nagisa’s lack of fame after all. Had anyone known about him, he might have been a laughingstock, his name and joke of a routine dragged across every online skating forum. Maybe a few people pitied him, but his spectacular failure didn’t mean much, since he was an unknown. He was pretty sure the entire audience had just pulled their phones out and tried to look away from it.</p><p>He was stuck, right then, though. Lying on the ice wasn’t going to make it any better. He was sure his mother would be round soon enough if he didn’t come home and declare his skating done for the day, demanding he show her just how much his jumps had improved. And they <em>hadn’t</em>. Well, a few coaches here and there had told him his body wasn’t quite right for figure skating. <em>Not enough strength in those legs</em>. At the time, Nagisa had taken that as a sign to just keep pushing himself further, but perhaps he should have taken the clear message.</p><p>Nagisa picked himself back up again, though, legs shaking slightly as he tried to regain his balance. A precarious thing, really, considering. He thought, for just a second, that he should practise some basic figures, as though that would give him a spec of confidence. But no, that’s not what he needed to do, since his step routine skills were moderately decent. He needed to perfect the landing to that axel.</p><p>He was interrupted by hands clapping together.</p><p>“T-this is private rink time!” Nagisa turned immediately, feeling weirdly exposed.</p><p>“Yo, Shiota kun, it’s been a while.”</p><p>He froze, a spike of fear racing up his spine. Perhaps it was weird, that he could recognise the voice of someone he’d never actually spoken to. But he was a huge Akabane Karma fan, had been since they were just young boys and Karma made his junior debut. He’d listened to enough of his interviews to detect his unique tone, his inflections, his teasing lightness…</p><p>It took Nagisa’s brain more than a moment to really catch up to what was happening. Catch up to the fact that, unless he’d banged his head so hard on the ice that he actually had a concussion, Japan’s best figure skater was standing in his small-town rink, watching him skate apparently. Calling him by his name?</p><p>“K-karma?”</p><p>He leant casually against the rink siding. “You’re taking off awkwardly, there’s too much tension in your leg. You probably know how to jump an axel just fine, but you’re clearly overthinking it.”</p><p>Nagisa <em>really</em> didn’t know what was happening, but apparently that was irrelevant. What took him by even greater surprise was Karma suddenly bracing his weight on the edge of the siding, and casually leaping over so he was on the ice too. Even though he wasn’t wearing skates, he still landed gracefully and didn’t show any signs of losing his balance as he started to walk across the rink. Towards <em>him</em>.</p><p>“You shouldn’t step out on the ice in your normal shoes,” Nagisa said, almost on autopilot. What else could he possibly come up with in response?</p><p>Karma looked down at his feet, like he hadn’t noticed. “Well, I didn’t exactly bring mine with me.”</p><p>“Why are you here?”</p><p>More importantly, why was he talking to him? Nagisa was as irrelevant as they came. Maybe it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing, for Karma to know his name. They had competed in the same competition, after all. But his rink? Had Nagisa done something wrong? Though, he wasn’t sure what that could be. If his skating was so offensively bad that The Red Devil was coming to yell at him about.</p><p>Karma’s eyes were so much sharper up close, and he had a hell of a glint in them. “Not even a ‘hello’, Shiota kun?”</p><p>He swallowed, partly wishing the ice would melt and swallow him. “<em>Hello</em>.”</p><p>“Small rink you’ve got here,” Karma looked around, not hiding the fact he was judging it.</p><p>Somehow, Nagisa felt irritated. “There’s not exactly a lot of choice in a small town like this.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t you like to train somewhere bigger?” His tone was so… nonchalant, but his eyes gleamed with purpose when he looked straight into Nagisa’s. “You’ll never rank up into international standings in a place like this.”</p><p>It wasn’t like Nagisa didn’t know that. Ice was ice, but there was so much more to figure skating than that. Even if his mother worked constant overtime shifts, it was barely enough to cover private rink time and basic equipment. Not to mention she insisted on being his only coach, thanks to many disagreements in the past. How could he compete with those who had real coaches, personal trainers, ballet classes… skates that weren’t starting to fall apart? And, well, it wasn’t like sponsors were lining up to help him finance things.  </p><p>“I know,” he finally said, those two words feeling heavy in his mouth.</p><p><em>Next season</em>, his mother had told him. <em>Next season you’ll bring me the results</em>. Perhaps Nagisa had just needed to hear it from someone like Karma’s mouth. He was playing a hopeless game. Things would be better, if he just quit and moved on with his life. Maybe he could still even go to university and try and look at his time on the ice as a fond memory. Quit now, and stop wasting so much of his life on a hopeless ambition.</p><p>“You should train at Kunugigaoka rink,” Karma continued. “You wouldn’t repeat what happened at Nationals.”</p><p>Had he come all this way just to rub it in? Genuine advice would be telling Nagisa to quit… but that was certainly an insult. Kunugigaoka rink surely sounded like the answer on paper, assuming Nagisa actually had the talent to go with it. Nagisa knew all about it, considering it was pretty much any Japanese aspiring figure skater’s dream to train there. They even had on site nutritionists! Dormitories nearby! And the sheer fact that it was located in the centre of Tokyo made it seem all the more dreamlike.</p><p>“Kunugigaoka rink is invite only.” He pushed off, then, putting more distance between them.</p><p>Karma’s head tilted. “That’s why I’m inviting you.”</p><p><em>Huh</em>.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Korosensei wants to coach you. Sure, you might not be up to competitive standard this season, but this sport is a ticking time bomb so you should start as soon as you can.”</p><p>It was far too much information for a regular morning training session. And there was no way it was genuinely happening. There was no way his <em>idol</em> had come all the way here to tell him that the best coach in the country wanted to work with him. <em>The Reaper</em>, the most decorated figure skater in history, known mostly by his legendary title for practically assassinating any of those who dared skate against him. Well, he was affectionately called Korosensei by the figure skating community since he appeared to <em>kill</em> most of his students with his tough training style. Figuratively, that was.</p><p>“<em>Why</em>?”</p><p>Karma rolled his eyes. “What’s with all the questions? C’mon, I brought the contract with me. I’m getting cold standing out here.”</p><p>He wasn’t entirely sure <em>why</em> he ended up following Karma back over to the siding. The entire situation was completely ridiculous. Nagisa was almost expecting to wake up at any moment in a hospital bed somewhere. But, with every second of being awake that passed, that was starting to feel more and more unlikely.</p><p>Karma remained casual about the whole thing, starting to talk about regime and contract details like this was just a normal occurrence to him. Nagisa tried his best to follow it, but his mind was spinning. Drop everything and chase the impossible dream of really seriously making it in the professional circuit… it sounded nice, but there were so many problems with it.</p><p>“-<em>wait</em>,” Nagisa finally caught up, recovering from the shock. “I never even said <em>yes</em> to this.”</p><p>He actually looked genuinely surprised. “You don’t want to?”</p><p>Just about preventing himself from hyperventilating, Nagisa put the papers down. “T-thank you for the opportunity, but even if it <em>is</em> true, there’s no way I can afford any of that.”</p><p>“Just tell your sponsors- “</p><p>“I don’t <em>have</em> sponsors,” he fired back. “I’m not like you, or Asano Gakushuu, or anyone else. We can barely even afford <em>this</em> place, let alone Kunugigaoka and Korosensei. I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can do it.”</p><p>Karma’s face was neutral. “He’ll probably just wave the fees until you win something, you know. It’s an all-inclusive package.”</p><p>“Why <em>me</em>?” Nagisa’s voice cracked with slight desperation. Maybe it was kind of pathetic, but he needed to understand. “Why <em>now</em>? I’m a nobody.”</p><p>“You’re definitely somebody,” Karma replied, “or else you wouldn’t have got through to Nationals in the first place.”</p><p>Somehow, he felt uncomfortable with that comment. Although it should be a dream to hear such a thing from his idol, Nagisa just couldn’t let himself. He’d failed so hard; he didn’t deserve it. Getting through to Nationals had been a fluke, nothing more. Unnaturally weak competition for that year, maybe. Maybe Nagisa <em>would</em> like Karma to cheer for him, but not for a performance like that.</p><p>“I’m <em>not</em> a good skater. I-I couldn’t come and waste your time any more than you already have.”</p><p>Something really went over him, then, and Karma’s expression became forced. “Have it your way, then.”</p><p>Watching him leave felt like just the perfect end to the dream that had turned into a nightmare. A part of Nagisa instantly regretted everything he’d just said, though he knew that honestly, he couldn’t have formed another response. Looking down, though, he quickly realised Karma hadn’t gone as far as the snatch the papers back. He didn’t want to just leave them there, he supposed, so he decided to shove them into his own training bag.</p><p>His training session wasn’t supposed to be over for at least another hour, but the idea of stepping back out on the ice made him feel sick.</p><p>Since his town wasn’t exactly the prime sourcing for figure skaters, Nagisa was pretty much the only one who seriously trained there. There were lessons for very young kids, of course, and a few hockey teams of varying ages. Mostly, though, the rink was just for public enjoyment. That was how Nagisa had started out anyway, all those years ago, when his mother had decided he needed to become more graceful in his entire demeanour. Loving it so much, or at least how he used to feel about skating, had been entirely an accident.</p><p>Nobody gave him much of a glance when he packed up and headed out early, though he was sure his mother would find about it somehow. Not that there was much else to do, if he skipped out on ice training. He was supposed to just be generally working out to improve his leg muscles and all-round stamina, but he wasn’t in the mood to do any of that. Thinking about his own ice performance even further…</p><p>He ended up going back to the cramped apartment he shared with his mother, scurrying away into his room to watch old competition reruns. Nagisa did, after all, start all of this because he loved skating. Something twisted in his stomach, though, as his eyes locked with Akabane Karma’s image above his desk, a still from his Olympic year free skate routine. Maybe he looked better in the poster, than in person. Certainly more majestic.</p><p>Pressing his lips together, Nagisa typed that particular routine into the YouTube search bar, which was instantly flooded with results. Actually, Karma had only scored the silver Olympic medal, but that was before he even had as many huge jumps in his roster. Naturally, Asano Gakushuu had been right behind him, a mere three points below in bronze position. Ever since that day, the two of them were national heroes. Considering Karma literally skated to a song about <em>‘a thousand cherry blossoms’</em>, it was easy to see why.</p><p>Usually, watching Karma skate filled him with passion, but right then he didn’t feel anything as the routine played out. There was definitely no way he’d imagined that entire interaction, then. Honestly, he ran away in shame as soon as his own routine was over at Nationals, so that was the first time he’d ever even spoken to Karma. Nagisa had always imagined it going better in his daydreams.</p><p>So as to minimise the amount of upset when his mother realised he’d skipped out on practise early, Nagisa decided to get started on cooking her dinner. It was his best tactic, when he <em>really</em> didn’t want her to be in a bad mood with him, and so far she hadn’t quite figured out the connection. Unfortunately, the food was nothing exciting, considering the kind of diet he had to be on for training.</p><p>“Welcome home!” He called out enthusiastically, when he heard her coming through the door.</p><p>She didn’t return the greeting, instead just passing through, though not before dumping her handbag on the table. Thankfully, Nagisa had already thought to set everything out for dinner. It was good timing, too, since he was already mostly done with the cooking. Somehow, he felt like he was preparing himself for battle, as he steeled himself and picked up the plates.</p><p>“I cooked,” he said, laying hers in front of her.</p><p>His mother just stared down at her food. “Let’s eat.”</p><p>Nagisa nodded. “Yeah, let’s eat.”</p><p>The meal passed mostly in complete silence. Nagisa was okay with that, though. It was better than the alternative of her chewing him out. It had been like this, since his big failure. At least before, she would speak casually to him about basic topics, when she was in one of her sunny moods. If only Nagisa knew a way to stop letting her down.</p><p>“I’ll take the plates,” he started, once she was clearly finished.</p><p>“Nagisa,” she smiled sweetly, before dumping the very same contract papers he’d stuffed into his bag on the table between them. “What are these?”</p><p>“I-I can explain- “</p><p>Danger flashed behind her smile. “<em>Please</em>.”</p><p><em>How</em> to explain? “I- one of Kunugigaoka’s representatives visited during ice practise today.” The look in her eyes told him to continue. He decided he didn’t need to go into further detail about <em>who</em> it was. “He offered me a contract, b-but I said no!”</p><p>Her eyes sharped further. “Why would you do that?”</p><p>Nagisa looked at his mother with alarm. “You’d <em>want</em> me to go?”</p><p>She immediately went to her feet, then, resembling more of a wild animal than a human. “Why would you try and stay here?! An offer from Kunugigaoka rink will finally set you on the right path! I can’t <em>believe</em> they’d even accept you after such embarrassing failure! <em>Do not waste this opportunity Nagisa</em>.”</p><p>“Mum I- “</p><p>“Call them right now,” she violently shoved her phone into his hand. “Tell them you weren’t thinking straight, and you’ll accept it right away.”</p><p>Anybody else in his position might mistake her insistence as support, but Nagisa knew better. She didn’t want Nagisa to just follow his dreams and be happy. No, she wanted to be in his place, to have a row of shining gold international medals. Pushing all of this on her son, apparently, had been the next best thing. Unfortunately for her, Nagisa hadn’t got far in his career at all, and the longer it took him to get anywhere, the angrier she became.</p><p>Had their relationship been any different, Nagisa might have asked her to wait and talk about it once she’d calmed down. He knew that look, though. It was one of conviction, which meant she’d made her mind firmly up and there was almost nothing Nagisa could do to change it. Whether he liked it or not, then, he’d have to move to Tokyo?! Wait, that might be his one way out of it.</p><p>“But I’d have to live away from you,” he explained. “This rink is in Tokyo. Y-you couldn’t come with me- “</p><p>Her arms folded. “I’m aware. And as hard as it’ll be to see you go, Nagisa, your career is more important.”</p><p>Nagisa felt numb, as he later trailed towards his bedroom to pack. Maybe he was being crazy, having been handed something like this and not even being happy about it. At the very least, Nagisa could look forward to not having to live with his mother, even though the looming threat of having to produce results from this was going to be hanging over his shoulders.</p><p>Luckily, as he found out when he actually called the rink, being somewhat cold towards Karma didn’t mean the entire contract was going to be taken away from him. So it was settled, then, just like that. He was to pack up and head to Tokyo immediately so that they could get as much training in as possible before the start of the new skating season. Not that Nagisa would end up competing in anything like the Grand Prix series, but everyone else would be considerably busy with it.</p><p>He couldn’t force himself to sleep well, though, that night. Once the dust had really settled and the realisation that he would be leaving home almost immediately set in, Nagisa couldn’t help but cringe at his actions. He’d <em>finally</em> got to meet Akabane Karma and he’d spoken to him like <em>that</em>… Nagisa wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to face him, though he imagined they’d probably be separated for any kind of training anyway.</p><p>It felt like the next thing he knew, he was sitting on a bus, his most important belongings stowed away in the compartment below them. His mother had work, of course, so she hadn’t gone as far as to see him off. A part of Nagisa wondered that maybe she’d like it more, not having to see him so often. The bus was actually pretty empty, for one heading to Tokyo. It was rare to find such ambitions in his smallish town.</p><p>That was the only thing that kept Nagisa feeling sad about no friends seeing him off, not that he had many. Every spare moment of his life had been spent on the ice. There was a wistful feeling, though. The cherry blossoms were only just starting to bloom, and whilst most people would wait a week or so before going on their picnics, he had still seen a few families gathering here and there, on his way to the bus station.</p><p>Nagisa settled into his seat, fiddling with his earphones as he looked out of the window. Somehow, it didn’t feel much like saying goodbye to this old town. Tokyo would be a different world entirely. Considering he hadn’t been able to easily relax the night before, he ended up drifting to sleep kind of quickly after the bus had started moving. It wasn’t restful, though, it was the kind where he kept waking up and coming to awareness what felt like every few minutes.</p><p>By the time they drove into Tokyo, though, Nagisa did perk up somewhat to look out of the window. Even if this wasn’t his choice, he couldn’t stop himself from the excitement that came with such a huge city, even if it was a little childish to stare open mouthed like that. Maybe, he thought, as they drove into Shinjuku bus station, this entire situation was going to turn out okay.</p><p>“Shiota Nagisa kun?” A woman greeted him after stepping off the bus.</p><p>She was fairly tall and young looking, with dark short hair. Most notably, though, was the graphic T Shirt which read ‘Skate On Me’. A little weird, but Nagisa was hardly a fashion expert. Given that, he could only conclude that she’d been sent to pick him up and take him to wherever he’d be staying for the foreseeable future.</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, remembering his politeness for at least someone at Kunugigaoka rink, and punctuated it with a bow.</p><p>She smiled. “I’ve been looking forward to it! I’m Yukimura Aguri, but feel free to call me Aguri! I’m a coach down at the rink… W-well, not a coach exactly, I mostly just teach novice! But you’re probably tired after the trip. Don’t worry, I brought the car!”</p><p>Nagisa was a little relieved at that. Though Tokyo’s subway system was somewhat famous, he wasn’t quite in the mood to experience it for himself. Once he grabbed his pathetic amount of luggage, Aguri lead him through to the carpark, where indeed there was a branded minibus. That made sense, he supposed, given how many skaters they might have to transport to various competitions.</p><p>He knew it would probably be better if he tried to talk to Aguri during the drive, but actually trying to focus on a conversation was difficult. It wasn’t like Nagisa had <em>never</em> set foot in a large city before, but it didn’t compare to his first glimpse of Shinjuku. The only thoughts he could come up with were ‘chaos’ and ‘colour’, as they drove out on the road practically dwarfed by tall buildings.</p><p>“Are you tired?” She asked. “I was told to take you straight to the rink to look around, but you’ve had a long trip… Maybe you’d like to just go to your dorm instead?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” he replied quickly, already sure he wouldn’t just be able to take a nap with everything going on around him. “I slept for most of the drive.”</p><p>“We’re almost here, actually.”</p><p>Nagisa couldn’t help but be a little dumbstruck as they drove past Yoyogi Park. Since they were further south than his home, the blossoms were well in bloom, and the scene was full of pinks and whites. A small breeze came through the air, causing petals to fall from the trees, much to the delight of some of the children who were gathered underneath. One of the biggest ice stadiums in the country was close by, and it was so crazy to see it with his own eyes. Unluckily for him, Nationals had taken place in a different city this year, so he hadn’t had the chance to. Aguri kept driving, though, before she pulled into the practise rink.</p><p>He’d seen photos, of course, but the real thing was completely overwhelming. Perhaps it was a normal looking building from the outside, especially compared to the competitive stadium, but still a sense of awe rushed through him. For a moment, the feeling of it not being his actual choice to come faded, and he even felt somewhat excited.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Aguri said warmly, and Nagisa was inclined to follow.</p><p>Even just stepping into the entrance, he felt smaller than usual. A ridiculous amount of gold medals caught his eye immediately, gleaming from their place in a large and somewhat overfull cabinet. It was almost the end of the day, but there were lots of people loitering about, a far cry from Nagisa pretty much being the only one at his rink, during non-public hours.</p><p>Aguri seemed keen to give him the tour, though, leading him straight into the next room. “This is the cafeteria. You can bring your own food, but some really great healthy options are included in your training fee. I’m a big fan of the octopus sushi.”</p><p>It was nice, modern and spacious, but something else caught his eye immediately. One wall was lined with tall floor to ceiling windows, providing a perfect view of the skating rink. Considering his career choice, Nagisa had seen a lot of rinks, so it was hard to be ‘impressed’ by one. It was more the thought of who, exactly, had skated there. Currently, it was being occupied by two skaters, performing a lift that looked absolutely terrifying.</p><p>“Really great view too,” her smile was knowing. “That’s Chiba and Hayami, we’re hoping they can score Japan a pairs medal this season.”</p><p>“They’re amazing,” Nagisa let out unintentionally.</p><p>Aguri just beamed, before taking off again. “This way has a few places you might make use of. There’s a pretty big gym in this room,” she nodded in the direction of a door, “and this one’s the ballet studio. We have a few spaces down here for physical therapy as well, but I’m sure you’ll want to see the rinks.”</p><p>“<em>Rinks</em>? There’s more than one?”</p><p>“Of course,” she had a light laugh. “There’s enough fighting over ice time as it is. Between our top skaters and the hockey team, it’s quite hard to manage. I can barely find the space in the timetable to teach my novice classes.”</p><p>Nagisa fell mostly quiet for the rest of the tour, nodding along here and there as she explained basic but handy things. Not that Nagisa was <em>that</em> concerned with the location of the toilets, but it was still good to know. There was a way to the rinks directly through the changing rooms, but Aguri took him the observer route, pointing out the location of the main offices.</p><p>“That one up there belongs to Asano Gakuho,” she said, “the owner of the rink.”</p><p>The sound of the name ‘Asano’ caused Nagisa to blink in surprise. Though he must have read about it somewhere, in the depths of his memory, Asano <em>Gakushuu</em> being the son of the rink owner was still an odd fact. Nagisa’s life had been overbearing as it was with his mother, he could only imagine what <em>that</em> kind of situation would be like.</p><p>“Generally,” she said, “most of the skaters prefer to train in the morning slots, and it’s usually the hockey team who take the late afternoon. But, it still feels like we’re coaching all day.”</p><p>“Sweetie!” A practically booming voice called out. “You’re back early!”</p><p>Aguri left his side, then, rushing over to greet the dark-haired man, who had been standing by the side of the rink. He was noticeably taller than her, so he had to bend down to give her a kiss on the forehead. Seemingly forgetting that Nagisa was there for a moment, he tenderly cupped her cheek as she leant into it almost automatically. It only took a few seconds, though, for his eyes to shift towards him.</p><p>“Shiota Nagisa kun,” he said with an alarmingly wide smile. “I’m pleased to finally meet you.”</p><p>“K-korosensei,” he let out. The most famous coach in figure skating, and he was <em>pleased</em> with him? That would make anybody feel a little giddy.</p><p>He didn’t react, though. “I’m looking forward to working with you. Today you can just- “</p><p>“Who’s the fresh meat?” A blonde girl practically flew across the ice, slashing some of it up with her skates as she slammed into the siding.</p><p>“Nakamura san,” he said, “meet Shiota kun.”</p><p>“Actually,” he said before he could stop himself, “please just call me Nagisa. There’s a chance my family name might change some day, and I don’t want it to be awkward.”</p><p>She seemed to be looking him over. “Alright, ‘Just Nagisa’.”</p><p>Korosensei looked back at him. “I don’t want to waste time, so your training will start tomorrow. For now, my wife can take you to the dorms, if you’ve seen everything at the rink.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Nagisa said, though he meant it for a lot more than just the tour.</p><p>As it turned out, the dorms were only about a five-minute walk away from the rink, which Nagisa internally noted would be convenient for early morning sessions. Walking a little was fine in the morning to wake him up, but using public transport to get places usually left him more sleepy than anything. Getting to live right in the centre of Tokyo like this… he really was living some kind of dream.</p><p>“Here are your keys,” Aguri said, once they’d entered the comparatively small building. It looked just like a regular apartment block to him, though admittedly less public. “It’s pretty basic for now, but feel free to decorate it however you like! I’ll leave you now, so you can rest.”</p><p>She waved him off, and somehow Nagisa felt really good about everything, like he couldn’t wait to actually get stuck into training and begin this new life. It seemed like there were people here who might really believe in him… Though perhaps he needed to rest on that. Come to think of it, he realised he probably <em>could</em> benefit from a lie down.</p><p>The sound of another door opening, though, distracted him. Nagisa turned, and then right there, halfway out of the apartment opposite him, was Akabane Karma. Their eyes met for a second, and Nagisa realised then that avoiding him wouldn’t be easy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Summer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perhaps it was impolite, but Nagisa was struggling to focus on what Nakamura was saying. She was ranting about some kind of position her ballet instructor had tried to make her try on the ice, and whilst Nagisa would usually attempt to follow along he was sore from his <em>own</em> session that morning. So sore and tired, especially from falling so much, that he was struggling to even feed himself his rice.</p>
<p>“At least you weren’t doing suicide drills all night,” Sugino commented, rubbing the back of his shoulders.</p>
<p>Life was good, Nagisa thought. He even regretted his apprehension about coming to train there. Though he was obligated to call his mother still, it was a lot freer without her constant presence. For the first time in his life, Nagisa really felt like he’d made genuine friends. Friends who, due to being in the same field as him, understood exactly what this kind of life was like. Sugino played ice hockey, but it was a similar boat.</p>
<p>Eating lunch together had become a fun habit, since most of their training schedules seemed to meet at the same time. Along with Sugino and Nakamura, he’d also made friends with Yukimura Akari, Aguri Sensei’s younger sister who helped out with her classes every now and then, and also Okuda, who seemed far more interested in the physics of skating than actually partaking in it. Some of her advice about body positions and angles had been invaluable, though.</p>
<p>The natural lull was interrupted by a pair of gold eyes, staring at him from across the room. Nagisa shifted in his unease, before deciding that he’d eaten as much as he was going to eat that day for lunch. He had a slot in the ballet studio in a few hours, but rather than sit around and do absolutely nothing until then, he figured he could go for a run. Stamina was an important part of skating, after all.</p>
<p>Yoyogi was definitely a nice area of Tokyo, with just enough ‘natural life’ to fool him out of being in such a huge city. Not that Nagisa had even had <em>time</em> to see all of Tokyo yet, but there had been small trips here and there. Yoyogi Park itself was an ideal place to run, following cherry blossom season. Though the summer was even more devilishly hot compared to his home, the trees at least provided a bit of shade.</p>
<p>Running wasn’t Nagisa’s favourite exercise by any means, but the burn was refreshing compared to his ice training. He wasn’t intending to go far, at least, but then he felt a weird twinge, and the hairs stood up on the back of his neck. It felt awfully like someone was following him. Out of nerves, Nagisa did turn his head over his shoulder, but what he hadn’t expected was to be <em>right</em>.</p>
<p>He sped up a little, and the runner behind him followed suit. That was an alarming sign indeed. Yes, they were in broad daylight, and there were people around, but just from a glance the man had to be at least twice his height… He looked again, hoping that maybe he’d back off if he realised Nagisa was aware of it, but that just allowed him to actually drink in his full appearance.</p>
<p>“Are you following me?!” He stopped in his pace.</p>
<p>Karma chuckled. “Way to make me sound like a stalker, Nagisa kun.”</p>
<p>Still, he felt uneasy. “So you just felt like coming for a run?”</p>
<p>“Korosensei’s been nagging me about my stamina recently,” he shrugged, “I’m going to need it for my short program.”</p>
<p>No matter what had happened between them, that peaked Nagisa’s curiosity. “You already have one?”</p>
<p>Karma hummed, almost blending in with the cicadas. “I’ve been thinking about it since last season. But, the choreography is the easiest part. Are you interested?”</p>
<p>It was Nagisa’s instinct to say yes. Since starting to train at Kunugigaoka rink, he definitely hadn’t been avoiding Karma on purpose. Maybe he had done so unintentionally, though. They were on friendly enough terms, considering they lived opposite each other, but Nagisa wasn’t exactly brave enough to try and initiate a conversation with him. This invitation, then, was coming out of the blue.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Nagisa said, as the sun appeared to beat down on his shoulders.</p>
<p>Watching Karma in training mode might have been a dream come true for him, if he’d been asked about it even a year ago. That didn’t just come from admiration, though. It was a well-known fact that Karma’s grasp of music and choreography was genius. Getting to see the process that actually went into it for himself was something he couldn’t dream of passing up. Not to mention he didn’t have any thoughts about his <em>own</em> short program yet.</p>
<p>“I have ice time in an hour,” he said, and easily turned on his heel, jogging off in the other direction.</p>
<p>Since Nagisa’s intent genuinely had been exercise, he tried to continue his run, but the uneasiness made it hard to focus on his pacing properly, especially in the summer heat. Without really thinking about it, it morphed into nervous speed walking instead. He didn’t <em>get</em> why Karma had followed him all the way out into the park just to invite him to watch him skate. Was it <em>that</em> important? Was there some kind of ulterior motive behind it?</p>
<p>He spent so long worrying about it, though, that the hour passed in what actually felt like about ten minutes, which meant Nagisa hadn’t factored in any time at all to actually prepare himself for it. He tried to convince himself it wasn’t a big deal, though, as he steeled himself and practically marched back inside the rink. Though, the marching meant he wasn’t looking where he was going properly, and he collided with another body.</p>
<p>“Oh, s-sorry,” Nagisa said automatically.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for him, it seemed he’d bumped into Asano Gakushuu of all people. Actually, it probably would have been worse if he’d bumped into one of the hockey players, since not all came as friendly and mild as Sugino. Though Asano was still taller and more muscular than him, he had the body of a figure skater. It didn’t make him any less intimidating, though.</p>
<p>Asano looked him over like he was some kind of mathematical diagram. “Wasn’t your ice time this morning?”</p>
<p>He was taken aback by that, considering they’d maybe spoken five words to each other ever. “How do you know my training schedule?”</p>
<p>“I know everyone’s schedules,” he shrugged like that was normal.</p>
<p>“Right,” Nagisa said, knowing that it had come out as awkward, but he really just needed to get passed. “I need to go through to the rink to watch Karma.”</p>
<p>Asano just continued to examine him, though. “So you’re spying, then. There’s a better place to do that from.”</p>
<p>He hadn’t told Nagisa in words to follow him, exactly, but somehow Nagisa understood that was what he wanted, and felt compelled to do so. Instead of taking the direction that they’d use to get to the ice as skaters, Asano lead him confidently up the stairs, towards the rink’s small spectator area. As Nagisa had discovered, everything here was perfectly built to purpose.</p>
<p>Below them, stood confidently on the ice, Karma was leaning against the siding as Korosensei seemed to be giving him instruction. They were far enough away that they couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, but it seemed like Korosensei was chiding him somewhat. Karma brushed him off, though, speeding out into the centre of the ice before motioning for music to start.</p>
<p>Nagisa recognised the theme, a few seconds after it began. As came with being a skater, there was an automatic awareness of classical music, however he was pretty sure most people would know <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLp_Hh6DKWc">'In The Hall Of The Mountain King'</a>, even if not by name. It was an incredibly dramatic piece of music, so somehow it wasn’t surprising to him that Karma had chosen it.</p>
<p>The music started out with somewhat slow and quiet plucking, and Karma pushed off into a step sequence. Like he was perfectly in tune with the music, he weaved across the ice. Nagisa was almost lulled into a false sense of calm, forgetting briefly how the music was actually going to end. Every twist and jerk of his body was in perfect harmony.</p>
<p>“He always saves his jumps till the second half of the program for points,” Asano mused. “He claims it’s all about the art for him, but he’s as strategic as anyone. You should watch out for it.”</p>
<p>“You <em>train</em> together,” Nagisa pointed out.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t make him any less of a competitor.” Asano’s demeanour relaxed, though. “I’m half convinced my father wanted him to skate here just to keep an eye on him.”</p>
<p>As the music picked up, Karma finally went into a camel spin, and Nagisa found himself holding his breath. The strings grew intense, and then at the perfect moment, he launched himself into a perfect triple axel. Somehow, Karma looked like he’d been possessed by a demon, and along with the music’s speed he was flailing himself around. It looked like he was in pain, almost, but perhaps that was the point.</p>
<p>The next jump, a quad lutz, seemed to come out of nowhere. He barely even recovered from that, before a quad salchow, triple loop combination. Asano was right, even if it made sense artistically, Karma had clearly primed himself to get as many technical points as possible. And he certainly wouldn’t be slacking on the artistry either. He went into a flying sit spin, which turned into a combo, and even in his training gear it looked like he was engulfed in hell flames.</p>
<p>Perhaps Karma was truly trying to live up to his ‘Red Devil’ nickname.</p>
<p>When he finally came to a stop, Nagisa was out of much thoughts. He’d always admired Karma’s skating, but this was the first time he’d actually got to see it in person. At Nationals, he’d been right after Karma, which meant he hadn’t had much time to watch his routine before preparing for his own. There was something powerful, a kind of electricity in the air, that came with the real thing.</p>
<p>“Yo, Nagisa kun,” Karma waved from the rink below.</p>
<p>He turned to Asano. “I should go.”</p>
<p>He didn’t reply, but Nagisa tried not to think too much on it. Instead, he weaved his way back down through the stands, ending up at the side of the rink where Karma was clearly waiting for him, apparently ignoring whatever Korosensei was trying to talk to him about. Nagisa knew at least that he wasn’t always like that, actually mostly taking instruction well.</p>
<p>“So…” he leant casually over the siding. “What did you think?”</p>
<p>“It looked intense.”</p>
<p>Karma grinned. “You think it’s enough to frighten the audience?”</p>
<p>“Frighten them?!”</p>
<p>“The only frightening thing,” Korosensei interrupted them, “was how close you came to stepping out of that lutz. It was a good skate, Karma kun, but don’t get overconfident.”</p>
<p>Karma easily waved him off. “The hard part’s done now. It’s all just practise, right?”</p>
<p>“Don’t forget about your free program!”</p>
<p>Karma casually stuck his tongue out, before moving over to the exit, and fiddling with his skate guards. Karma was already depressingly taller than Nagisa, but with the extra height from the blades it was kind of ridiculous. Not really sure what to do, Nagisa awkwardly followed him over to the bench, hovering as Karma started to unlace.</p>
<p>“You like Sonic Ninja, don’t you, Nagisa kun?”</p>
<p>“I-“</p>
<p>“I mean,” he continued, “you skated to the soundtrack last year.”</p>
<p>His face immediately turned red, more embarrassed than alarmed that Karma even remembered his routine. “Don’t bring that up!”</p>
<p>“Alright alright,” he held his hands up in mock peace. “You <em>do</em> like it, though?”</p>
<p>“I used to read the comics,” he admitted. “I thought learning English might be useful if I ever got interviewed. I was excited that they adapted the films, though.” Wait- Why did he say <em>that</em>?! That was even more embarrassing.</p>
<p>Karma didn’t make fun of him, though, which had Nagisa very nearly sighing in relief. “I liked the director; the source material is a little cliché, but he did great things with them.” He looked him over. “Do you want to come and see my figurines?”</p>
<p>Nagisa was taken aback somewhat with that. First, an invitation presumably to Karma’s dorm – unless he kept them somewhere else. Second, the fact that they even had an interest in common other than skating itself. Nagisa was pretty sure Karma had never mentioned that he liked the series in an interview before, not that he’d even been like one of Karma’s super crazy fans who seemed to know how often he even breathed.</p>
<p>“Sure,” he said.</p>
<p>Considering they lived opposite each other, the walk wasn’t that far. They made the journey there in relatively companionable silence, though that was mostly because Nagisa didn’t have a lot to say. Sure, there were plenty of things he’d always kind of wanted to ask Karma, but right then none of them felt right to him.</p>
<p>Karma’s room turned out to be kind of normal. Since Nagisa hadn’t been there that long, he hadn’t had much time to decorate, but Karma had been training here for years. It was weird, then, that at a first glance their rooms were almost identical. The only notable difference was, indeed, the Sonic Ninja figures he’d mentioned, lining one of the shelves. Taking a closer look, though, there was something else on them.</p>
<p>“You put your Olympic medal on Sonic Ninja?”</p>
<p>He shrugged. “Didn’t have anywhere better to put it.”</p>
<p>Of course he wouldn’t know, but he assumed most people kept their medals in a much more formal display than that. And Karma had a lot of medals. Maybe it was some kind of joke? Nagisa wasn’t really sure, but somehow he found it kind of cool. Karma was being nonchalant over his own success. That, or he couldn’t be bothered to install an actual display case.</p>
<p>“I didn’t realise there were so many,” Nagisa continued to look at them. “You even have Gable, and Zap! And Adam!”</p>
<p>Karma slightly tilted his head. “I didn’t know Satan had a name.”</p>
<p>“They didn’t really go into it in the movies,” he explained, “but there was this whole spin off for his backstory.” Nagisa decided to stop himself right there, before he came across like some kind of <em>otaku</em>. “I-if you like it so much, how come you never skated to it?”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t think of anything good enough. It wouldn’t work as well as yours, anyway.”</p>
<p>Nagisa swallowed. “You really watched that? I wish you hadn’t… it was terrible.”</p>
<p>“So you bombed a few jumps,” Karma said casually. “The rest of it was okay. The whole ‘it’s all about the jumps’ thing ticks me off. I mean sure, you won’t get anywhere near a Worlds title without a few quads, but it’s not like winning’s a requirement. Have you ever even tried to land a quad?”</p>
<p>Nagisa had a feeling Karma was only saying that because he himself had no danger of missing out on the podium, but he didn’t call him out on it. In fact, Nagisa wasn’t really sure what to think of it. Knowing Karma had actually liked his skating should have made him feel giddy and warm, but instead there was this hole inside him that felt like it might collapse inwards.</p>
<p>“I two footed a toe loop once,” he admitted.</p>
<p>Karma pulled out his phone, then, and started to rapidly text something, purpose laden in his eyes. “Are you free tomorrow, after your session with Korosensei?”</p>
<p>“I think so?”</p>
<p>“Good,” he said, “because I just blackmailed Nakamura out of her time. I’ll meet you then?”</p>
<p>“O-okay.” Nagisa wasn’t sure how to take it, though it sounded like Karma wasn’t giving him much of a choice. “I’ll… go and rest up for now, then.”</p>
<p>Thankfully Karma didn’t try to convince him to say at his house any longer. Not that Nagisa had a problem being there, but he wanted some time to process what had just happened. He had no idea what Karma had planned, that was apparently important enough to immediately beg for Nakamura’s ice time, but a heat of nerves travelled through him all the same.</p>
<p>The next morning though, Nagisa felt a weird kind of determination when he stepped out onto the ice. His sessions with Korosensei so far had been working on his technical skills, his biggest weakness, from the ground up. That made sense, since this was his first time with a <em>proper</em> coach. However, Nagisa was starting to feel just a tiny bit antsy, especially after watching Karma skate with a practically complete short routine.</p>
<p>For the first time in a long time, he felt a competitive fire with him.</p>
<p>“Korosensei,” he finally said before he lost his nerve. “I was thinking… about choreography.”</p>
<p>Korosensei practically beamed, as though that was the right thing to say. “I was wondering when you’d like to start working on that.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have many ideas,” he admitted. “Not yet.”</p>
<p>“Nagisa kun,” he started gently. “Before I take on a new skater, I always watch as many of their past skates as I can find. You didn’t have much on public record, but from what I could see, your artistry is your biggest asset. If you can feel the music and tell the audience a story, you’ll definitely have a competitive edge. A couple of technical points won’t always edge out presentation completely.”</p>
<p>That felt strange to hear. “If only I could figure out what to do.”</p>
<p>“Try thinking about a general theme,” he suggested. “You can narrow it down from there. Sometimes, the best dances come from a powerful personal connection. Once you find some good music, we’ll work on the choreography.”</p>
<p>Somehow that seemed easier said than done. The thing was, Nagisa could already feel part of it. Like the ice was commanding him, he could picture the beginnings of a step routine, followed by one of his better combination spins maybe… If he couldn’t get his points up with the difficulty of his jumps, then <em>maybe</em> he’d be able to make it up in the spins.</p>
<p>That was for later, though. Right then he made his best attempt at actually concentrating on what Korosensei was telling him. Considering the fame around Korosensei’s master teaching skills wasn’t a lie, that was pretty easy once he got into it. Maybe they weren’t working on anything that was seriously going to progress his abilities, but he did know the foundations were just as important as anything.</p>
<p>Still, as their session drew to its end, he found a strange kind of anticipation building under his skin. Somehow, he was actually kind of excited for what Karma wanted to show him. They’d have to use one of the other rinks, though, so Nagisa had the chance to put his skate guards on and act as though he was heading to the changing rooms. Not that he had much of a reason to hide this from Korosensei at all. In fact, Nagisa didn’t really know why he felt so inherently secretive about the whole thing.</p>
<p>Karma was already waiting for him, and Nagisa wasn’t sure whether to be pleased that he’d actually shown up, or a little nervous about the anticipation of the entire thing. He was standing in the centre of the ice, hands firm on his hips as though he was definitely awaiting Nagisa’s next move. Taking a big breath of air, Nagisa removed his guards, and skated out to join him.</p>
<p>“You’re not tired from your session with Korosensei?” Karma looked down at him, infinitely more intimidating on the ice somehow.</p>
<p>“No…” Nagisa shook his head for good measure. “I can do this.”</p>
<p>Karma looked as though he was considering it. “Why don’t you show me your triple toe loop? You’re pretty confident in that at least, huh?”</p>
<p>Although he wished that were the case, Nagisa wasn’t quite confident in anything. Though, as jumps went, a triple toe loop usually went alright for him, at least outside of the pressure of competition. He’d showed the jump to Korosensei a few times, and he hadn’t had a huge number of things to correct, which Nagisa was at least a little big thankful for.</p>
<p>He nodded then, and pushed off to gather his speed. At least outside of a routine, he didn’t have to worry too much about other elements and following the cues of the music. Anticipation built in his legs, and when it felt like the right moment, he dug his toe pick into the ice. Once he was in the air, his thoughts seemed to slow down a little bit, though mostly all that was there was <em>landing</em>.</p>
<p>When he came down onto the ice, it was on one leg and from his lack of falling straight over he realised he must have actually succeeded. Feeling just a small beam of confidence rise up within him, he skated back to Karma. Not that he was looking for praise, exactly, but he really wanted to know what Karma had to say.</p>
<p>“Try the quad.”</p>
<p>That hadn’t been exactly what Nagisa was expecting. A wave of dread went through him. He wasn’t scared of quads themselves, in fact he’d heard of skaters even younger and smaller than him trying and succeeding at them. It was a kind of feeling where Nagisa was almost certain he’d fail, so it was hard to actually gather up the courage and try.</p>
<p>He did <em>try</em>, though. Technically speaking, he did understand how to do the jump. He’d come close to landing it before. Somewhat apprehensively, Nagisa made his approach, and launched into the air. Jumps in figure skating barely even lasted a single second, but it was enough time for Nagisa to realise that he was completely off. He braced himself, already aware that there was no way he was going to land on even both feet.</p>
<p>Had Nagisa been training alone, he might have laid down on the ice for a little while and wallowed in the familiar sting of missing a landing. He didn’t have that option, though. Instead of embarrassing himself as just a part of a much larger competition, this time he’d done it in front of Karma directly. He was going to regret giving up his free time to try and help someone as bad at this as him.</p>
<p>“I get it,” Karma said, once Nagisa had got himself together and back onto his skates again. “Your rotations are too slow, and your angle is off.”</p>
<p>Before Nagisa could really picture what he was saying, he was off. In technique alone, Nagisa didn’t see much difference. But the way it looked was like a natural flow, the positioning of his legs almost beautiful. Launching into a jump wasn’t an issue at all for him, and he cleared it high, landing perfectly balanced on the backward edge of his blade, arms out gracefully. It looked soft, much softer than slamming down on a surface with eight times the force of your body weight should.</p>
<p>“Like that,” he said casually when he was in ear shot.</p>
<p>Nagisa didn’t really know what to respond to that. “I can’t jump that high.”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” he said, “but you’re thinner than me.”  </p>
<p>“Huh?!”</p>
<p>“I might be able to get more height into my jumps, but you can probably rotate quicker.” Then he looked off deep in thought. “I don’t think you’re tucking in your arms enough, and you came out of it too quick, like you were already preparing to catch your fall.”</p>
<p>He felt like he had to argue that. “But I <em>was</em> going to fall.”</p>
<p>“You can’t think like that,” Karma shrugged. “You just gotta be sure you’ll land.”</p>
<p>Once again, much easier said than done. Instead of the confidence aspect, he tried to think about what Karma said about his arms. Experimenting where he stood, he thought about how he usually approached jumps, something that was all but burned into his muscle memory at that point. Maybe his elbows really <em>were</em> sticking out a little.</p>
<p>“Like this.”</p>
<p>Nagisa froze up instantly. Karma had skated around, and was practically hugging him from behind. His hands came to Nagisa’s elbows, forcing his crossed arms in so they were tighter to his body. Unfortunately, Nagisa wasn’t really thinking about figure skating technique anymore. Karma’s body heat pressed against his back felt akin to the surface of the sun, and considering how much taller he was Nagisa felt completely engulfed in it.</p>
<p>“R-right!” Nagisa pulled away, blood rushing to his cheeks. He wasn’t really sure why, when Karma was just trying to help him.</p>
<p>He tried to divert that inconvenient fire within him to the ice. Especially since that meant putting half a rink’s worth of space between the two of them. Nagisa tried his best to keep everything in mind, and by the time he was digging his toe pick in again, he didn’t think about much at all, aside from clutching his arms in tighter. He was sure the difference was miniscule, but it definitely felt faster. He didn’t even have a chance to worry about landing, his leg falling into position naturally as he came down, the force rushing through him, though he managed to stay upright.</p>
<p><em>Wait</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>He’d just cleanly landed a quad. </em>
</p>
<p>“I did it!” He beamed, skating back over to Karma. “I can’t believe I actually landed one!”</p>
<p>“Maybe you’ll have a real shot next season,” Karma mused, “if you can do those kinds of jumps in competition.”</p>
<p>That cut off the euphoric excitement for a moment. “W-well that’s different…”</p>
<p>A somewhat proud smile shone on Karma’s face. “Considering it only took you one try, who knows? Maybe you’ll knock me and Asano kun out of the competition.”</p>
<p>Nagisa was about to chide that it was a ludicrous idea, to imagine <em>Akabane Karma</em> out of a medalling position. He’d been on the podium at the <em>Olympics</em>. The only podium Nagisa had ever seen was in local competitions, in which he was the only one actually trying to take this as a serious career. Those victories were so miniscule it felt almost unfair to compare them.</p>
<p>However, that was interrupted by a slight commotion upstairs. Nagisa wasn’t necessarily one to pry, but it was natural for him to turn his head to it. Asano was stepping out of his father, the rink owner’s, office. The walls must have been built with sound proofing or something, because now the door was open the sound easily escaped, echoing around the rink.  </p>
<p>“Why don’t you just quit?” His sneering voice came. “Save me the public humiliation of another silver medal.”</p>
<p>“Father- “</p>
<p>“4am <em>sharp</em>, Gakushuu. You will not disappoint me again.”</p>
<p>Asano turned sharply, then, clearly catching onto the fact that the entire exchange was being watched. Nagisa felt guilty all of a sudden, like he’d seen something he really shouldn’t have. Karma, on the other hand, barely even looked surprised. It made Nagisa wonder how often this kind of thing happened. He was no stranger to that kind of treatment from his mother of course, but Nagisa had never been highly enough ranked to even be in line for important competitions and titles. At least when he trained, mostly it was a chance to escape from her. Since Asano’s father owned the rink, it seemed like he wouldn’t have the chance for that.</p>
<p>He didn’t stick around to call them out on their minor eavesdropping. Instead, a cool look glinted in his eye, and he turned away from them, as though he wanted to leave the entire building as quickly as possible. Nagisa didn’t really know him at all, but it seemed like Asano was wrapped up in a lot of things he didn’t ever want to bring to light. That felt at least a little sad.  </p>
<p>“Is he always like this?” Nagisa asked lowly, paranoid he would somehow be heard by someone other than Karma.</p>
<p>Karma remained where he was. “Pretty much. It’s worse whenever I beat him. The only reason I’m allowed to train here is because he’d rather have me under his own roof.” He shrugged, though, his regular demeanour returning. “It’s not like it isn’t motivation.”</p>
<p>A sour taste remained in Nagisa’s mouth, though. He wasn’t brave enough to make any sort of attempt of going after Asano, but his heart still seemed to be reaching out. It seemed like Asano was a pretty strong person, at the very least.</p>
<p>“We should work on your triple axel, next.”</p>
<p>Nagisa turned over his shoulder. “I thought this was about my quads!”</p>
<p>“But your axel kind of sucked~” Karma saw fit to poke him in the arm. “Unless you want to spend <em>another</em> competition kissing the ice.”</p>
<p>Irritated, Nagisa felt a buzz under his skin again. Perhaps this could work out for him. It seemed the more annoyed he got with Karma’s comments, the more he wanted to succeed and shut him up. Not a perfect system at all, but as he skated off, determined and fuelled to prove that his axels could be pretty good, <em>actually</em>, there was genuine enjoyment bubbling up. Even when he misjudged his landing a bit and ended up stepping out of the jump, a part of him didn’t even care.</p>
<p>It was the most fun Nagisa felt from skating in <em>years</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Autumn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perhaps it was a little ridiculous, or even impossible, but Nagisa had decided on most of his choreography before making a firm decision on his music. Now that he was armed, and practised, with some decent enough jumps, he had a pretty good idea of the way he wanted to order them and some of the other elements he wanted to include. Spending the last few weeks listening to a library of classical music on repeat hadn’t inspired him much though, aside from one.</p><p>Korosensei had told him to find something he personally related to, at least, and he was pretty sure this was it.</p><p>Granted, <em>Moonlight Sonata</em> was more about unrequited love from what he understood. Nagisa didn’t know a <em>thing</em> about love. Or, any images he conjured seemed to be about a <em>certain redhead</em>, and he found himself freaking out and tried to push the thought from his mind before it could even form properly. Instead, then, he found himself focusing on the emotions of the music. The first movement started out so slow and sad, like a kind of mourning, where the third was something erratic and powerful. Nagisa specifically felt a latent rage from the piece, and somehow it resonated with him.</p><p>He hadn’t exactly come up with the idea on his own. Kurahashi and Yada, two members of the synchronised skating team, had told him it sounded great when they’d seemingly gone around the rink getting details from everyone’s programs. Nagisa had a pretty solid idea for his free skate, too, but it really felt like mastering the short was his top priority. Predictably, Karma had teased him for choosing something as stereotypical as <em>Beethoven</em>.</p><p>Thankfully, Karma wasn’t <em>there</em> during his ice time. Although they’d taken to practising jumps together for a while, Karma still had his own career to think about. Nagisa got it, he couldn’t just hang around teaching him jumps he probably should have learnt how to do already by now. Serious competitions were starting to creep up, and if Karma wanted to bring home a few golds, he’d need to concentrate. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he made his career suffer. Suffice to say, they hadn’t hung out for a few weeks.</p><p>“T-this is what I have for the routine,” Nagisa said nervously, handing over his list of planned elements with far less confidence than he’d had when he actually came up with it.</p><p>Korosensei looked over his piece of paper. “You might not win on technical points with this, but this would be enough to get you in the game, if you can skate it cleanly. Show me what you have, but mark your jumps for now.”</p><p>He tried to ignore his nerves as he went to the centre of the ice, and stood in his starting position. Considering this would be his first time trying to put all of the choreography together, it wasn’t in his muscle memory yet and he was more concentrated on actually getting it right than skating with smooth emotions. He did know he’d made the right choice, though, just from just the feeling of the music in the background of his thoughts.</p><p>The first jump would be a triple axel, since it was a required element and it would give him less trouble to just get it out of the way. As Korosensei said, though, he replaced it with a tiny jump, his foot barely even leaving the ice, for the sake of completing the routine. For once, though, Nagisa felt like adding in the jumps would be the thing to really push the routine over the edge and make it special.</p><p>He was using a modified version of the music, since there was a maximum length for the short program. Because they were the parts that resonated the most with him, the mix on his CD was the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea8oX-A8swk">first </a>and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zucBfXpCA6s">third</a> movements, with an added transition between the two. As the third movement started to pick up, the passion practically carried him across the ice.</p><p>Considering he wasn’t jumping, the most complicated part of his routine was probably the combination spin. He started standing, before moving into the biellmann position. Since it involved pretty much doing a standing split with the foot held above the head, <em>whilst also spinning</em>, Nagisa was more than aware not that many men could perform it. Not that the difficulty was so high as to give him a technical edge, but hopefully it would be memorable. He transitioned down into a sit spin after, before pushing off again.</p><p>It was the last part of his routine, so Nagisa felt a lot of relief by the time he got to his step routine, weaving across the surface of the ice whilst trying to remember exactly which ways to move his arms and legs. It was all he could do to tell himself that this would eventually come more natural to him. For the time being, though, it was passable enough, and he didn’t feel bad about what he’d done as he came to his finishing pose.</p><p>Nagisa hadn’t anticipated <em>clapping</em>.</p><p>Granted, it wasn’t really to the same scale as a thunderous arena. In fact, it was just his friends, Sugino, Nakamura, and Okuda watching from the stands. He wasn’t sure when they’d showed up, or <em>why</em> they’d even bothered to watch him skate, but it made him feel a little embarrassed. It had been completely rough around the edges.</p><p>“Nagisa kun,” Korosensei said, “of course you know that Karma and Asano are often selected to represent Japan in international competitions, the next one being the Grand Prix series. Do you know what happens when they’re nominated?”</p><p>He shook his head, since he was still trying to catch his breath a little.</p><p>Korosensei looked pleased, at least. “In a couple of weeks, some members from the Japan Skating Federation will visit the rink to check on everyone’s routines, or at least their short program, to make sure they’re on form. The selection process is more of a formality at this point, but I want <em>you</em> to skate for them.”</p><p>“M-me?!” Nagisa was taken aback. “I’m not sure- “</p><p>“You have some ways to go yet,” Korosensei said, “but you’re a <em>good</em> enough skater. If you feel ready for it, this season could be your debut on the international stage.”</p><p>He swallowed. “Really, I don’t think- “</p><p>“<em>Think</em> about it. But if you skate like that for them, <em>they</em> won’t have to.”</p><p>A strange feeling set through Nagisa’s body, when he came off the ice. He’d heard the praise, but it had washed straight over his head like a bucket of cold water. Even doing well at the Nationals felt like some far-fetched dream to him, let alone a shot at the Grand Prix… Well, not that Nagisa would come anywhere close to the final, but at least his name might be noticed in the circuit.</p><p>Nagisa kind of wanted to tell Karma about it.</p><p>Typically, though, Karma favoured the later ice times. He wanted to sleep for as long as possible, apparently. Considering he was one of Japan’s figure skating golden boys, he was easily able to get away with it. Nagisa himself kind of preferred the earlier starts, since it set him up easily for the rest of the day.</p><p>After grabbing a banana for some kind of attempt at replenishing his energy levels, he decided to spend the rest of his morning in the gym. Nagisa didn’t really frequent it often, since some of the machines there were somewhat intimidating, and it often came with equally intimidating hockey players lifting all kinds of weights. He <em>was</em> trying his best to build up some of this leg muscles, though. Lest all of the strain from the extra difficult jumps he’d been practising recently harm him.</p><p>He found that he’d zoned out for the remainder of his morning. Nagisa couldn’t stop thinking about whether Korosensei was actually right in his judgement. He was pretty much one of the most well-respected coaches out there, a trainer of champions, but he might be seeing something in Nagisa that wasn’t there. Nagisa just didn’t want to let him down…</p><p>“Oi,” the captain of the hockey team, Terasaka, was standing over him with a crony at either side. Nagisa only really knew his name because his rough attitude was infamous around the rink. “You’re hogging the machine.”</p><p>“R-right,” Nagisa stumbled a bit, trying to get out of their way. They were in the right; he <em>had</em> just been sitting there mostly doing nothing.</p><p>He looked him over. “You know you’re not really doing it right?”</p><p>Weirdly, the only thing Nagisa thought to say was “Sorry.”</p><p>“We’re free right now,” the guy with dreadlocks said. “If you want us to show you?”</p><p>As it turned out, the hockey guys also made great personal trainers. Nagisa listened carefully, as Terasaka gave him a demonstration, and Yoshida (as his name turned out to be) explained how he’d been going about it slightly wrong. Once he had the technique down, they even helped spot him, whilst Muramatsu lectured him on eating more protein before working out. The time flew like that, and before he knew it lunch time had arrived.</p><p>“I’m sorry to keep you,” he said on autopilot. “But thank you!”</p><p>Terasaka just smirked. “You’re a figure skater, huh? Karma and Asano walk ‘round here with some kind of god complex, they’re due an ass kicking.”</p><p>Nagisa laughed awkwardly out of politeness, but practically scurried out of the room and off to the showers. Perhaps it should have been a compliment, but Nagisa found it hard to take it as such. Really, he just felt uncomfortable with the comparison. Even if Korosensei hoped that he’d be able to compete in their bracket, that didn’t mean Nagisa was anywhere close to their level.</p><p>He actually saw Karma at lunch, which took him a little by surprise. Though he did eat in the cafeteria sometimes, more often than not it seemed like he would much rather eat his own food at home. It took Nagisa a moment to remember that he actually wanted to talk to him, but before he could even approach, his friends started waving him over.</p><p>They didn’t mean anything bad by it. Really, it was just a part of their routine. Why wouldn’t they call Nagisa over when they ate lunch like this together every single day? It was nice, anyway, since they were all involved in slightly different disciplines. They could share their progress which each other without the feeling that came with competitiveness.</p><p>“So what did Korosensei actually say?” Sugino asked when he sat down.</p><p>It was clearly directed at Nagisa, but right then he wasn’t listening properly. Had he been completely <em>there</em>, he’d have understood that it was a little rude to just ignore him, but Nagisa couldn’t shake his focus. Karma was only a couple of tables over, still sat completely alone, slurping at a strawberry milk carton with apparent purpose. Nagisa couldn’t help but think that was slightly… sad.</p><p>“Should I invite Karma to sit with us?”</p><p>A look of mixed shock and horror crossed Akari and Sugino’s faces. “W-well- “</p><p>“He doesn’t really talk to us,” Akari explained.</p><p>Sugino nodded. “We’re not good enough for the likes of him.”</p><p>Nagisa looked over at him again. “He seems kind of lonely, though. And he’s helped me a lot recently.”</p><p>“A-actually,” Okuda started quietly, “Karma kun speaks to me sometimes too. We were talking about the right kind of jump angles… but then he started talking about video games. I didn’t understand him, but he was,” she smiled a little, “nice.”</p><p>It was pretty much decided, then. Like he was about to do something far more actually intimidating, Nagisa stood up without his tray, and began to make his approach. The others weren’t exactly cheering him on, though did watch in what he could only assume was morbid curiosity. Nagisa only had to hope that Karma wouldn’t just laugh and reject him.</p><p>“Hi,” he said, a bit louder than he’d intended.</p><p>Karma looked up at him. “Yo.”</p><p>He swallowed. “Would you… like to come sit with us?”</p><p>Head tilting, he looked around Nagisa, and over at their mostly full table. “What gives?”</p><p>“Nothing!” <em>That came out way too quick to not come across as suspicious</em>. “U-unless you prefer to sit by yourself.”</p><p>Karma appeared to think it through. “Sure.”</p><p>The building tension left Nagisa’s body in almost an instant. Though it was a little awkward walking back over to their table with Karma on his heels, sitting down beside him for lunch felt kind of natural. Nagisa was just thankful that none of his friends made a big deal about Karma being there, continuing naturally with their own conversation.</p><p>As the meal went on, Karma actually joined in the conversation. When Sugino or Akari brought something up, his responses were a little quieter and far and few in between, but otherwise he chatted pretty naturally. Nagisa couldn’t exactly make assumptions, but he seemed happier too. Nagisa didn’t want to fall into the habit of being Karma’s only friend. He was sure he had more than just him! But, Karma didn’t mention them if he did.</p><p>“So,” Nakamura said, “how do you feel now Nagisa kun’s a direct competitor?”</p><p>Nagisa gulped, taking in Karma’s confused face. “K-korosensei said he’d let me perform for the JSF, and maybe I’ll be allowed to compete internationally.”</p><p>Karma looked at him. “You finished your routine?”</p><p>“Yeah! Mostly, at least.”</p><p>He just shrugged, eating his next mouthful of food, and that seemed to be the end of the conversation. Honestly, Nagisa felt a tiny bit of disappointment creep up. It’s not like he needed Karma’s approval or anything, but some excitement might have been nice. Of course, it was clear that no matter what happened, they wouldn’t ever actually be competing for anything.</p><p>“Did you hear what happened to Asano kun?” Akari said, lowering her voice a little.</p><p>Everyone leaned in a little closer, anticipating for her to tell them.</p><p>“His Dad’s started making him train before the rink even opens.”</p><p>Okuda covered her mouth. “But it opens at <em>5am</em>.”</p><p>“No wonder he constantly has bags under his eyes,” Nakamura said.</p><p>Once everyone had finished eating, Nagisa felt a little uneasy. He tried to nod along, at least, until the group dispersed. Nagisa thought he might just take an easy afternoon, considering he’d done a lot of training as it was, but he quickly noticed Karma hadn’t budged from his position. That absolutely lead him to believe that there was something Karma wanted.</p><p>“So you really finished your routine?” He asked.</p><p>Nagisa nodded happily. “It needs a bit of polishing, but I think so. I’m still not sure if it’ll be ready in time for the JSF though.”</p><p>“I’m surprised you haven’t been corned by Bitch san yet.”</p><p>By <em>Bitch san</em>, he was referring to Irina Jelavic, who mostly handled costumes. Apparently, she’d actually been hired a long time ago to help prepare some of the skaters for international interviews during the Olympics, but since she had such an eye for fashion she’d been kept on to fulfil that role as well. As for Nagisa, he’d seen her a few times, but never actually spoken to her.</p><p>“D-do I need a costume for the presentation?”</p><p>Karma shrugged. “Not really, but the full picture will leave a better impression.”</p><p>He ended up following him almost wordlessly after that. Though costuming was an important part of skating, it wasn’t exactly regular, so it seemed like she’d been relegated near to where the skates were maintained and sharpened. Nagisa assumed that she did more stuff than just <em>that</em>, but considering she was sat with what seemed to be an assistant…</p><p>“Bitch san~” Karma drawled at her door, “Nagisa kun needs a costume.”</p><p>Her blue eyes snapped up immediately, taking him in like she was plotting to kill him. “I’m busy.”</p><p>“O-okay- “</p><p>“But you’ve already finished with Asano’s,” Karma continued. “And mine- “</p><p>“It doesn’t have enough glitter,” she stood then, hands on her hips, before looking at Nagisa. “Do <em>you</em> want glitter? Hara san, measure him.”</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t entirely sure how to react as a girl approached him, measuring tape in hand. All he could really do was stand there and obey the way she lifted his arms. It wasn’t like he’d never had anything tailored before, but at least he’d been prepared for the experience in those circumstances.</p><p>“I wasn’t sure what kind of costume to have- “</p><p>She glared. “What’s the music?”</p><p>“Moonlight Sonata- “</p><p>“Leave it with me,” she turned, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I get left with all the work around <em>here</em>-”</p><p>The two of them backed away, before she could exactly finish her rant. Nagisa did feel a little bit excited, though, amongst the apprehension of not having a clue what kind of costume he’d end up wearing. Not that Nagisa was a fashion expert by any stretch of the imagination, but he liked to have at least some idea about it.</p><p>“So,” Karma said, a little careful in his tone. “I guess I’ll see you at practise with us tomorrow, then? If you’re trying out with us, that is.”</p><p>Suddenly Nagisa felt a little dizzy. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but training <em>with</em> Karma and Asano felt like a whole new thing entirely. That would mean that he was on the same level as them. Nagisa didn’t want to accept such a statement as some kind of natural reflex, but the more he thought about it… was it really a far-off assessment? If they were skating for the same positions…</p><p>Nagisa kept that debate with him throughout the night, tossing and turning in his bed when really he should have been resting up. If he was indeed going to train with Karma and Asano properly, he should probably have attempted to do it in the best shape possible. Instead, he woke up the next morning feeling the kind of tired that left him a little queasy.</p><p>He was a good five minutes early, before the training session was actually due to start. Unsurprisingly, Karma was nowhere to be seen, and Asano was doing laps around the ice. If anyone looked worse than Nagisa, it was probably him. Curiously, though, he skated over to the other side of the rink, where he spoke to what seemed to be the figure of a tall man. Nagisa squinted his eyes, trying to get a closer look, before it occurred to him it had to be Asano <em>Gakuho</em>.</p><p>“Good morning, Nagisa kun,” Korosensei’s voice snapped him out of it. “It’s good of you to join us.”</p><p>“I-I hope it’s okay,” he said.</p><p>“Please,” Korosensei gestured, “go ahead.”</p><p>Nagisa couldn’t exactly just ‘go ahead’, though, because Asano Gakuho started to approach them, walking towards their side of the rink like he definitely had a purpose. His son, on the other hand, looked absolutely miserable as he skated out into the middle of the rink. All Nagisa could do was exchange a look with Korosensei, easily reading the nerves from his face.</p><p>“We’re not cutting into your ice time, are we?” He asked, the question appearing normal, though Nagisa detected threat underneath his tone.</p><p>“Not at all,” Korosensei said politely.</p><p>He turned towards the ice. “Your whole routine, Gakushuu.”</p><p>Nagisa almost jumped out of his bones, when the music started. It took him a moment to place, but it was the Overture piece from Phantom of the Opera. It made sense to him, that Karma and Asano would try to outdo each other on dramatics. Nagisa’s was dramatic too, though he hoped he’d be able to rely on telling a deeper story.</p><p>Much like Karma’s routine, Asano’s skating seemed to be all about racking up technical points. There was definitely a difference in the way they skated, though. Karma moved fluidly, much more like every action flowed perfectly from the last. Though Asano’s skating was absolutely immaculate, it was clear to Nagisa, watching him in person, that he was thinking about every little movement. Maybe that was where he lost out on presentation points.</p><p>Nagisa couldn’t help but feel almost privileged to watch such a polished routine, though. It was clear that all of the extra practise had definitely paid off. He launched into a quad flip, and Nagisa held his breath. Although the jump was mostly fine, and would probably look perfect to audiences, as a skater he <em>knew</em> that the landing was shaky. As a skater who seemed to value perfection, Nagisa was pretty sure Asano would be angry with that.</p><p>He finished the routine panting, head down in concentration rather than pride.</p><p>“Again,” Asano Gakuho boomed, uncaring.</p><p>His son looked up with unmistakeable pain in his eyes. “Father I’m- “</p><p>“That quad flip was a disgrace. Do it again until you get it right.”</p><p>“Perhaps he could have a short rest- “ Korosensei started to try, though the anger was practically pouring from the man at that point. Unfortunately, since he owned the whole facility, he pretty much called all of the shots.</p><p>The music started again, and it seemed Asano didn’t have much of a choice. It reminded Nagisa of himself, back when his mother was trying to get him into shape for Nationals. She’d made him repeat his routines over and over until he could barely even lift his legs off the ice, and he’d taken his skates off to find blood and bruises. It was the same here, like a dancer being trapped in a music box, spinning over and over at the will of whoever held the handle.</p><p>“Who pissed in his cereal?” Karma, who had apparently finally decided to show up, said just over Nagisa’s shoulder.</p><p>“Is he really always like this?”</p><p>Karma’s lips pressed tightly together. “Around competitions at least.”</p><p>They didn’t get to continue their conversation, because then it was like everything fell into slow motion. Asano launched into his flip again, but he hadn’t launched high enough from the ice. Nagisa winced as he crashed down hard, clearly not expecting to fall. A fall like that wasn’t always the end of the world, you could still complete a good routine even with the marks taken off for falling… But Asano didn’t get up.</p><p>His father started to shout at him to get up, but Korosensei had already started to run out onto the ice. That alone told Nagisa something was probably wrong. From what they could see, Asano was sat up at least, which was one thing, but he seriously looked in pain. Korosensei picked him up over his shoulder, then, and they hobbled over to the edge of the ice.</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t good at biology, but he knew an ankle wasn’t supposed to bend that way.</p><p>Even Asano Gakuho looked shocked, which was not an expression Nagisa had ever thought he’d see on him. He didn’t do anything, though, as Korosensei got Asano sat down. Unable to just stand there and watch it happen, Nagisa pulled the location of the first aid kit out of his memory, and launched off to go and get a bag of ice. It probably wouldn’t help much, but hopefully it was something.</p><p>By the time he’d returned, Asano’s father was completely out of site. Nagisa couldn’t stop himself from feeling angry at that, on his behalf. This injury was undoubtably his fault as it was. A strange mood hit him, though, underneath the concern for Asano’s wellbeing. It was like Nagisa had won something but without any mood to celebrate.</p><p>“The ambulance is on its way,” Korosensei announced.</p><p>Karma crouched down at his side. “Honestly, Asano kun, this is getting crazy. How can I take you out of the competition if you just do it yourself?”</p><p>He looked at him through angry eyes. “Now’s not the time to <em>gloat</em>, Akabane.”</p><p>“But there’d be something wrong with me if I didn’t~”</p><p>Honestly, it didn’t seem like Asano was actually that angry with Karma. Frustrated, maybe. From Nagisa’s perspective, it seemed like Karma was actually trying to comfort him somewhat. The problem being that Karma wasn’t really… the <em>most</em> comforting person around. Perhaps the gesture had landed a little, though, since it had momentarily distracted him from the pain.</p><p>As the paramedics came in, and quickly made a judgement that something was probably broken and he’d need an x-ray as soon as possible, along with a lot of bedrest. As news of the incident buzzed around the rink, it was actually Aguri who ended up going with him, since his own father was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>Everything happened so quickly like that, that suddenly the entire rink felt hollow.</p><p>“Given what happened today,” Korosensei said to them, “I’ll let you off ice training today. Hopefully we’ll have some news on the situation soon.”</p><p>A sombre mood came over Kunugigaoka rink, for the next week. Although Asano’s injuries turned out they weren’t so severe he had to stay in hospital for long, there was still no way he’d be able to even think about skating for the rest of the season. A bone break was a skater’s worst nightmare, because if it didn’t heal absolutely perfectly there was no knowing how long an injury like that would affect them. Asano seemed pretty resilient, though, so Nagisa hoped that out of everyone he’d recover and come back with a fury. His father was still nowhere to be seen, though.</p><p>Nagisa didn’t feel much like skating at all, though he should have been hardcore training, since there was no sign the JSF were thinking about cancelling. There also came the question of ‘what next’. If Karma and Asano had been a shoe in to represent Japan internationally, then that meant there was now a completely vacant spot. A spot that everyone started to look at him to fill. Nagisa didn’t like attention on the best of days, let alone just because someone else got hurt.</p><p>They finally got their answer, when Korosensei addressed them both at the end of their next training session.</p><p>“The JSF heard about Asano kun’s injury,” he begun. “Because of that, they’ve decided to give an extra slot to an up and coming skater from a rink in Sapporo… they think he could have medal potential with a bit of competition experience. As a result, they’ll only take one of my men’s senior skaters, but they still want to evaluate the routines.”</p><p>Karma looked over at him, and his heart sunk. “That sucks. But there’s always next year.”</p><p>Nagisa knew it wasn’t the end of the world. He’d only been training with Korosensei as his coach for a few months. Whilst he was sure he’d improved a <em>lot</em>, actually, there was still a lot more time and work to be done. Nagisa hadn’t even expected to be allowed to skate in the grand prix series as it was. He’d been excited at the possibility, yes, but really it had only been wishful thinking.</p><p>“Karma kun,” Korosensei grimaced, “you’re a little wrong. They still want to see Nagisa kun skate.”</p><p>His eyes widened. “But- “</p><p>“Technically, you’re <em>not</em> the defending Grand Prix champion. Asano kun medalled higher than you last year. If they think Nagisa kun outperforms you, they may choose him instead.”</p><p>It was like an avalanche crashing down on his head. Him… competing with <em>Karma</em>? Knocking Karma out of a competition? That was perhaps the most ridiculous think he’d ever heard from Korosensei’s mouth, and he’d said some very crazy things over the time Nagisa had been his student. There was no way… he and Karma stood on totally different stages! That was when he noticed Karma storm off.</p><p>“Karma wait- “</p><p>But he was already gone.</p><p>Korosensei sighed. “I knew he wouldn’t take that well.”</p><p>“I-I’ll just pull out,” Nagisa said firmly. “Karma’s a much better skater than I am! I can’t <em>take</em> this from him.”</p><p>There was a glint in Korosensei’s eyes. “If you truly thought that he was an untouchable opponent, you wouldn’t worry about taking <em>anything</em> from him.”</p><p>“But- “</p><p>“If you truly want to drop out,” he said, “then you <em>can</em> do so. But don’t do that for anyone’s sake other than your own. Skate because, and if, you <em>want</em> it.”</p><p>Nagisa didn’t feel right as he started to make his way back to the dorm, though it was a different kind of emptiness than the kind that had followed Asano’s injury. Recently, he’d felt close to Karma, and he could already feel the wedge between them. Karma had been his <em>idol</em>, at a time, and it felt wrong to even stand against him. The sickness remained as he stood outside the dorm, ready to insert his key.</p><p>He couldn’t face going there right then. Instead, Nagisa made perhaps a snap decision, and turned on his heel. Aside from their dorm building, the Yoyogi area did have some pretty nice houses. Around that time of year, with the leaves slowly starting to turn into reds and oranges, it was definitely a pretty sight. He wouldn’t call them mansions or anything, but recently he’d learnt that owning anywhere of significant size within Tokyo was a great sign of wealth. He’d never actually been to the specific house he was looking for before, though he and Karma had seen Asano enter it with what few close friends he had, a couple of times. He nervously rang the doorbell.</p><p>A tired looking Asano pulled it open, crutches and all. Apparently, the eye bags were permanent. “What are you here for, Nagisa kun?”</p><p>“C-can I come in?”</p><p>Asano hopped aside. Considering the location, the house wasn’t actually that modern inside. Like it still held some kind of memory of ten or twenty years ago. It was exceptionally clean, though, without much clutter or even just regular decoration. Even just standing there, Nagisa felt odd, though he took it as a sign to take off his shoes in the entrance and follow Asano inside to a sofa, which he’d apparently been resting on.</p><p>“Skating DVDs?” Nagisa looked over at the TV.</p><p>“It’s the least I can do,” he explained, “if I can’t even train. Why are you here?”</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Nagisa started to explain the situation. A part of him was aware, though, that in doing so he wasn’t really answering Asano’s question at all. Truthfully, he wasn’t entirely sure what had possessed him to show up. He was a little anxious to see that Asano was mostly well after what happened, sure, but they weren’t exactly friends and he couldn’t call that the full reason.</p><p>“Interesting,” Asano commented when he finished. “So what are you worried about?”</p><p>“I- <em>everything</em>,” Nagisa projected in slight disbelief. “It’s crazy that I’m even being allowed to compete against Karma like this. There’s no way I’m good enough for it.”</p><p>He thought about it. “Honestly Nagisa kun, if nobody keeps Akabane’s ego in check, his head will explode. You seem like a good choice, out of any.”</p><p>“I don’t even want to beat him,” he admitted.</p><p>Asano tilted his head. “But you <em>do</em> want to win, though.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make sense- “</p><p>“It does to me. You want to win, and you want to compete at the Grand Prix. You just don’t want to go up against Karma in order to do it.”</p><p>Nagisa looked down. “I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Asano leant back in his chair. “How about you do me a favour and kick his ass.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Although I don't agree with everything he did to the piece, you can click <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrzSXDehrEM">this video</a> and go to about 1:47 to listen to what Moonlight Sonata with a transition between the 1st and 3rd movements sounds like.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Competition Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no doubt that Karma was avoiding him. For the first few days after their conversation with Korosensei, Nagisa could kind of excuse it as a mix between getting over the news, and concentration on training. But he couldn’t take it anymore, not without saying at least something to him, even if he didn’t know what.</p><p>His conversation with Asano still weighed heavy in his mind. If one of the best skaters in Japan thought he could win, then maybe Nagisa actually had a <em>shot</em>. If he went along with that, of course. But then came the question of if he even wanted to win or not. Karma had taught him so much, it almost felt like he was being unfair in taking the chance.</p><p>Nagisa decided, when he caught sight of him on the way to the changing rooms, that one way or another he needed to <em>try</em> and voice his feelings.</p><p>“Karma?”</p><p>“I’m busy right now,” he didn’t even look back at him.</p><p>Nagisa felt a kind of angry determination rise. “<em>Wait</em>. I just want to talk to yo- “</p><p>Finally he turned, eyes narrowed and poised. “Talk? We have nothing to talk <em>about</em>, Nagisa kun. I’m trying to focus on this routine, and so should you.”</p><p>“I’ll drop out,” it fell from his lips like a whisper.</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting from saying that. It looked like Karma hadn’t been expecting it either, and he looked taken aback from it. Weirdly, though, Nagisa did feel a kind of regret wash over him to, rather than relief at sacrificing his place. Did he really want to skate for the JSF <em>that</em> badly?</p><p>“<em>What</em>,” Karma’s tone came sharp, like it wasn’t really a question at all.</p><p>He needed to stay firm, though. “I’ll tell Korosensei that I won’t do it, and you won’t have to worry about the JSF anymore. You’ll just go to the Grand Prix like normal- “</p><p>“You’re so convinced you’ll win, that you think dropping out is doing me a favour?”</p><p>That felt completely wrong, Nagisa hadn’t meant it like that at all. “O-of course not! I’m not good enough to be skating for them at all- “</p><p>Karma flinched. “You really tick me off. Keep up the underdog act all you want, but the both of us, along with <em>everyone</em> at this rink, know you’re talented enough to do it. You might just be the most talented skater <em>in</em> here.”</p><p>“But your jumps- “</p><p>“Jumps <em>aren’t</em> everything!” He raised his voice, eyes then wide with frustration. “Forget it. Do what you want. But don’t expect me to thank you if you drop out like a <em>coward</em>. I respect <em>you</em> enough as a competitor to give it my all.”</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t sure how long he remained there after Karma left, shaking alone in the corridor. He hadn’t meant to come across arrogant, like he thought he’d actually end up displacing Karma during their skate. He was pretty mad, actually, that Karma had reacted that way when all he’d wanted to do was make the process easier on the both of them, when the final result had all but been decided already.</p><p>That anger started to rise within him though, as heat often did, the more he thought about it. Nagisa was not a coward and he would not go out half assed. <em>Fine</em>. If Karma wanted a fight, and a competition, then Nagisa would have to give it to him, no matter what it ended up costing. Casting his apprehension away entirely wasn’t so easy, but he understood then what he had to do.</p><p>That started with finding Korosensei, at the start of their scheduled ice time.</p><p>“Ah, Nagisa ku- “</p><p>“I want you to push me, Korosensei.” The command poured out of his mouth like lava. Though Nagisa wasn’t so far gone to completely forget himself, and followed it with a bow. “As far as my body lets me, I need to give my everything to this routine.”</p><p>There was a beam on Korosensei’s face. “Of course. Go start your warmup.”</p><p>By the time their session was over, it felt like every limb of his body was about to fall off. Despite that, though, he wasn’t in much of a restful mood. He clung to every single word of Korosensei’s feedback, so he was sure he’d be able to think long and hard about it even off the ice. Right then, though, it only felt like the start.</p><p>Nagisa’s next few days at Kunugigaoka rink went just like that. It was harder than he’d ever trained before, though it felt justified to him since somehow, it felt like he was about to compete in the most important skate of his entire life. His body burned with exhaustion along with his will to win, and all he could do was think about what he could do to ensure it actually happened.</p><p>“Do I have it?”</p><p>Korosensei looked at him, almost as worn out as he felt too. “Nagisa kun… Your efforts are impressive, but I haven’t asked why you changed your mind yet.”</p><p>He wasn’t sure how much he wanted to tell his coach. “I need to prove to myself that I can do this,” he answered. “And to everyone else. To Karma.”</p><p>“Karma kun?”</p><p>Nagisa slumped over by the seats at the side of the rink, and started to fiddle with untying his skates. “I think I’m partly angry with him because he was right. I owe it to him to be a competitor worthy of sharing the same ice.”</p><p>There was a strange look on Korosensei’s face. “Do you know why I invited you to come here and be my student?”</p><p>He shook his head. “N-not really.”</p><p>“I see a lot of skaters go through what you did at Nationals. I could see that you were talented, but the pressure got to you. Karma kun was supposed to be focusing on giving an interview, after he finished his routine, but he ran off when he heard your music. I’m not sure exactly what he saw, but after he watched you he begged me to take you on as a student.”</p><p>“H-hu- “</p><p>Korosensei’s lips pressed tightly. “It’s not a decision I can take lightly, since I’m so in demand as a coach. I watched back what routines I could find of you skating. Maybe he influenced the decision a lot, but I decided back then that with a little fine tuning, you would become an excellent student. Part of his request was also going to give you the news in person… I think he was surprised that you actually came, after apparently telling him you wouldn’t.”</p><p>“He really saw me skate…”</p><p>“I can’t pretend I always understand the things Karma kun does, I’ve been his coach for years and he still seems determined to surprise me every time he goes out on the ice. But I do know he sees you as a worthy competitor, Nagisa kun, and hopefully a trustworthy friend too.”</p><p>It was a lot of information to process. Before everything, Karma had been one of Nagisa’s idols. Showing up at his home rink had been enough, but personally vouching for him as a skater… Nagisa could barely believe that was real. Though he knew Korosensei wouldn’t lie to him, he didn’t understand why Karma had never mentioned it before. They'd come to be friends, hadn't they?</p><p>Nagisa couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to them after the competition, no matter the result. Perhaps Karma would still carry anger with him, even if he won. And if Nagisa won… he wasn’t sure he’d ever be forgiven. Nagisa knew for certain, no matter how he felt about his argument with Karma, that he didn’t want that. The time they’d spent hanging out together… it was like something precious he didn’t want to let go of.</p><p>“I’ll see you at the evaluation,” Nagisa said.</p><p>If he had it his own way, he probably would have skated far into the night. Nagisa already knew his routine back to front, but it felt like every second on the ice lead to improvement. Even if rest would probably be the best thing for his body <em>and</em> his routine, it certainly didn’t feel like it. The theory was confirmed, when he did go home and flop down on his bed, that he wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon.</p><p>There was only so long Nagisa could lie there, squeezing his eyes closed, before he started to go mad.</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t sure of what possessed him, but he lurched up then, and went to find his laptop. Of course, Nagisa wasn’t anywhere near famous enough to have clips of his skating broadcast on YouTube, but there <em>was</em> a recording of Nationals. A clip that to that day, Nagisa had absolutely refused to watch. He hadn’t felt the need to, he knew how badly he’d done.</p><p>As he pulled up the video, he noticed his past self didn’t actually look too bad during the first few moments. When the music started, it even seemed like he was having fun. If Nagisa really thought about it, he knew he had been at first. He really liked skating that routine, falling into the music as though he really was a part of Sonic Ninja. Then came his first fall. Surprisingly, he could tell it wasn’t as bad as he thought it had been in the moment, but it was clear from his face that something had changed.</p><p>He’d already given up.</p><p>At the time, Nagisa was sure it had felt like the world itself was beating down on him. Right then he just felt a kind of shame. Maybe… if he hadn’t given up so fast, he could have come back from the fall and still scored something decent. Even Karma fell in competition sometimes. He felt a little empty after watching it, but the thing he was the surest of was that no matter what, he couldn’t give up like that.</p><p>If he respected Karma, then he was going to go out and be the best competition possible.</p><p>Rather than get another early practise in the next morning, Nagisa actually only showed up at the rink a few minutes before he should start to think about warming up. Instead of skating on the ice, he’d spent the morning with his eyes closed, listening to the music over and over again until it practically thrummed through his blood stream. Only then did he feel by any means ready to compete.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Irina Jelavic leant casually against the door, blocking his path from the changing room.</p><p>“T-to skate,” he hadn’t expected to see her there.</p><p>She looked him over judgingly. “Dressed like <em>that</em>?”</p><p>“I- “</p><p>Rolling her eyes, she presented a sealed clothes bag. “You’re lucky I finished my design so quickly.”</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t sure what he was expecting, when she followed him into the changing room and unzipped the bag. The part that immediately caught his eye were how many gemstones and pieces of glitter were sewn into it. He could only imagine how it would glimmer under the lights of the rink… it almost felt too nice for him to wear, to even <em>look</em> at.</p><p>“Try it on, then,” she commanded. “You better hope it fits because we have no time for alterations.”</p><p>Luckily indeed, it seemed to fit him like a second skin, though the material was still light and breathable enough to move around in. For the briefest moment, he considered doing something with his hair, but decided to leave it in the twin pigtails he always did. The focus of the outfit was definitely around the torso. Light blue fading into turquoise fading into deep cerulean, and the trouser portion black like the night sky. Surely, Nagisa would look like he was made of moonlight itself. Or so he thought, staring at his own reflection in the mirror.</p><p>“I love it,” he said genuinely.</p><p>Irina just smirked. “Of course you do, now go show it off.”</p><p>She practically pushed him out of the door. The lights of the main rink actually hurt his eyes, suddenly stepping out into them like that. Once he’d blinked a few times, and adjusted, it definitely wasn’t just like their normal practise sessions. It felt like every single skater at the rink had shown up, whether they were demonstrating their routines or not.</p><p>Speaking of which, they were all seated like judges in a real competition, poised with their notebooks out, not supplying him with even a smile greeting. Everything about it felt too real, felt just like Nationals all over again. Despite all of that, though, Nagisa had already gathered all of his resolve and all of his doubts. He was going to do this.</p><p>And then he saw Karma.</p><p>Given that he’d already watched his routine, Nagisa shouldn’t have been surprised at the costume. But it became clear to him just how much a costume could add to a performance. Largely it was dark, blacks and crimson tones with bright almost vine looking details. His shoulders stood out the most, padded with what appeared to be human <em>skulls</em>. Most terrifying, though, was the matching skull paint that decorated half of his face, though its details were warped to appear like something sinister and demonic. Nagisa wasn’t sure if the ISU would even allow such a costume, for fear of scaring any children who happened to be watching.</p><p>Unfortunately, Nagisa wasn’t exactly surprised when Karma didn’t acknowledge him, not with more than the briefest of glances. It was the last sign that they were really doing this. It felt more like a fight, than a competition. It was hard to remember that it wasn’t even supposed to be a competition in the first place, just a demonstration. But small details like that didn’t matter anymore.</p><p>“You’ll draw positions,” Korosensei said, with a small box in hand. “To ensure it remains fair.”</p><p>A sudden sense of déjà vu crashed over him. They’d had to do this back at Nationals, too, and back then it had felt like the most nervous Nagisa had ever been in his life. Since Karma made no move to step forward, Nagisa realised he would have to be the one to do it. He stuck his hand into the box, jostling the papers around just a little before he held onto one, and pulled it out to open it.</p><p>His heart dropped to his stomach. “Second.”</p><p>Since it was just the two of them in this competition, there was no real advantage in position. But it really was just like before. Once again, he would be skating right after The Red Devil. And Karma very much looked the part right then, even if the nickname his fans gave him wasn’t really supposed to be literal. Karma just nodded, and removed his skate guards.</p><p>Nagisa knew that he should focus on preparing for his own routine. That’s what he did every competition, as a general rule. Pay no attention to the skater right before him. Except, that was kind of impossible when it was Karma. He had this presence, this way of bringing all eyes down towards him whether they actually wanted to watch him or not.</p><p>His routine started out significantly smoother than it had the first time he’d performed it, and it had already been pretty good right then. The story felt very clear to him, how Karma was some kind of demon dancing for an evil king, or else the king himself. Whatever the case, Nagisa was right there with him, entirely immersed as he weaved his way across the ice, and then followed through into a spin.</p><p>Despite knowing the details of his routine, Nagisa still gasped when Karma launched himself into his first jump. He landed perfectly, because of course he did, though he somehow managed to make it seem like chaos. Just like the music. His movements were even faster and smoother than they’d been the last time Nagisa saw them, anyway, and it felt more like watching a blur.</p><p>Every single jump was executed to perfection, and Karma was certainly one with the music by the time he’d launched into his sit spin and the whole routine started to draw to its conclusion. Karma did something strange, though. Instead of moving back up into a standing position, Karma kept low to the ice, purposely collapsing back against it like a monster that had been slain.</p><p>Beside Nagisa, Korosensei muttered something.</p><p>“I-isn’t that a two-point deduction?” It was a rule that had been around for decades, that any extended period on the ice not balanced on skates was counted as a fall, even if it was just the ending pose.</p><p>Korosensei nodded. “You’re right.”</p><p>“Because he thinks he can afford to lose the points?”</p><p>“Perhaps,” Korosensei hummed. “Are you ready?”</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t so sure anymore, thrown out of the loop. Given all he knew about Karma, it wasn’t so strange that he’d sacrifice a couple of points for the sake of the art of his routine. The question was if that was really his intent or not. It felt a little arrogant, like he was telling Nagisa that he could beat him even with illegal elements in his routine, right in front of the judges who would decide their fate. Of course, he couldn’t actually find that out, because it was time for Nagisa to answer his challenge.</p><p>After taking one final sip of water, and stretching out his arms, Nagisa skated out into the centre of the rink. Though no music had started yet, his heart started to thump at a certain kind of rhythm, drowning out any other sounds from the rink. He couldn’t quite call the thing that was flowing through his veins fear, more… anticipation.</p><p>The sound of the first piano note sounded out, and Nagisa pushed off. His breathing was perfectly in time with the music, and he felt it like a shiver down his very skin. Nagisa <em>knew</em> his routine, back to front, so he didn’t even have to think about his actual movements. Instead, he let everything, every thought and feeling, wash over him.</p><p>His story began dark and sombre. It came through, his slow languid movements, the way he moved across the ice purposely like he was dragging himself. Nagisa thought of his homelife before coming to Kunugigaoka. He thought about his lonely evenings on the ice, skating figures in the dark, stuck from his recent loss. No friends, no real ambition other than the forceful hand of his mother. That’s where just a few undertones of fury came in.</p><p>Nagisa followed through, launching into his triple axel. He still had trouble with that jump, and whilst before his logic of having it so early in his routine was to get it out of the way, since it was a required element, the feeling had changed. It felt right to him, a natural part of his progression. He didn’t pay attention to landing much, only really realising he’d succeeded when he noticed he wasn’t in pain and flat on the ice.</p><p>The added transition came next, leading him from the first movement to the third. The tempo picked up a little, and Nagisa could only see that day Karma had shown up at the rink. First the fear, and then the excitement at what might be. It was the perfect time to move into his camel spin, stuck between the direction to head with his career.</p><p>The third movement picked up properly, and the notes felt like passion. Finally, Nagisa was inspired, and working hard on himself to become the best skater he could. It was time to show just how much he’d improved. He made distance across the ice, and prepared to jump his quadruple toe loop. Except, in just those few seconds, Nagisa felt like it didn’t quite fit. This was the time to show exactly how far he’d come. What was it Karma had told him? Make yourself as narrow as possible.</p><p>Nagisa’s toe pick dug into the ice, and it was too late to go back. He launched himself into the air, his arms raised above his head rather than their natural position tucked into his chest. He couldn’t exactly count his rotations in the air, but somehow he figured out when to come down, landing neatly on one leg, his arms then flying down to balance himself out. That would mean extra technical points added to his hardest jump. It was time to feel triumphant.</p><p>Almost immediately, Nagisa transitioned into his combination spin. It started pretty basic, but then turned into a biellmann, as he reached back over his head and held onto his skate, his body contorting in half. As Korosensei had told him, this would be one of the moves that made him special. That was what Nagisa had come after, in the end, finding what made him special. He let go of his skate then, moving down into a sit spin, before he finally came out of it.</p><p>The music picked up again, after he was done. If there had been hints of rage before, it was more than evident right then. Nagisa hadn’t planned the feeling when he came up with the routine, but it fit like it was supposed to be there. He couldn’t help himself from thinking about his fight with Karma, how even after his glory run he had something to prove. This wasn’t just about Karma, though, he had something equally important to prove to himself.</p><p>Nagisa’s triple lutz, triple toe loop combination came easily. Because right then he understood, with the rush of icy cold chill through his hair, that he was made for this world. It had taken so much for him to get here, but he was standing alone, and he was worthy of it. The rage dissipated from the music a little, and it followed Nagisa’s step routine.</p><p>It was the conclusion to his journey, at least so far. Not anger, not uncontrolled passion, nor melancholy. Instead, it was good and healthy ambition and drive. No matter what happened, Nagisa loved figure skating. He loved showing himself on the ice, though rather than for the performance, he wanted to do it for himself. Through skating, he could finally understand the feelings that filled him.</p><p>Nagisa’s ears rung, when he reached his final pose and the music came to a stop. He knew he was out of breath, gasping for air, but that was more of a background thing. It was as though he’d given every part of himself to that, the pieces of his soul spilled out right in front of him. Now he just needed to figure out how to collect himself, to put it back together again.</p><p>A few seconds later, there was a thunder.</p><p>He looked up, then, only to realise that no, it wasn’t quite thunder. The entire audience were clapping for him, cheering. At Nationals, Nagisa had received a weak pity applause, but that was nothing in comparison. Absolutely overwhelmed and suddenly weak, Nagisa gave a brief bow, before shakily making his way over to the edge, and the exit.</p><p>If it had been an actual competition, he would have been able to sit in the kiss and cry to get his scores instantly. It occurred to him then that technically, it wasn’t really a competition at all, and they weren’t being scored on it. It was just a decision, a choice between he and Karma, to see who was worthy of representing the country in their eyes. For the first time, Nagisa felt like he’d done it justice, like he was worthy of that kind of consideration.</p><p><em>Karma</em>.</p><p>Nagisa looked around almost manically, but he couldn’t see him anywhere. When he finally came off the ice, Korosensei started to speak to him, but he couldn’t concentrate enough to absorb the information. In fact, more than anything he felt numb, as he secured the guards over his skates and finally found refuge on a chair, his legs shaking by the time he actually reached it.</p><p>“-gisa. <em>Nagisa kun</em>,” Korosensei stood over him, trying to actually get his attention.</p><p>He looked up. “Where’s Karma?”</p><p>“He walked off,” he said. “Pay attention, it seems they’ve already made a decision.”</p><p>A sickness suddenly rushed over him. Nagisa couldn’t bear to go over there, though. His hands shaking, he decided instead to unlace his skates, pulling one off and then the other. There wouldn’t be further skating that day, and there wouldn’t be a podium for the ‘winner’, so there was no reason to just walk around in them.</p><p>When he finally felt ready, he nodded firmly to himself, making an internal promise that no matter the result, he’d be content with himself and his performance. It did feel very intimidating, though, like he was standing at some kind of court trial instead. Well, he supposed a lot of his future was currently in their hands.</p><p>“We’ve come to a decision already,” a lady in the centre of the row began. “In the end, it’s a simple one. Without Asano Gakushuu skating, we need to ensure we have the best chance of medalling as possible. Akabane Karma has consistently proven his ability to do so, and on top of that, his routine scores far higher in base technical points. There’s no way he can exclude him from representing Japan this year.”</p><p>It wasn’t like Nagisa didn’t already know all of those things. He’d been aware of them, but he’d still had a little hope that maybe… He’d really given his all to that performance, and it still wasn’t enough. Small flames of defeat started to burn within him, then, and whilst he couldn’t be angry or disappointed in himself, it still wasn’t a nice feeling.</p><p>“However,” she continued, and then looked down at him. “Shiota Nagisa san, yes? To put it simply, we were all moved by that performance. In good conscience, it can’t be disregarded. If some of the technical elements could be pushed further, you would be on level with Akabane san. As such, we’ve decided that we must make an adjustment to our plan, and give both of you slots in the upcoming Grand Prix competitions. We’ll be monitoring you very closely, of course, but if you can prove yourself by qualifying for the finals at least, you’ll be given an automatic slot for this season’s remaining competitions.”</p><p>The emotion that rushed through him couldn’t be named. It didn’t feel like real information at all… much like how it had felt when Karma first showed up at his rink. That situation had turned out to be very real, though, so Nagisa supposed this had to be to. Of course, he knew the JSF weren’t just here for him, so he instead bowed politely and moved back.</p><p>The congratulations came swift and from all directions, after that. First from Korosensei, and Aguri who enveloped him in a very violent hug, and then from his friends when he went to go join them in the stands. There were other performances to go, after all, and Nagisa wanted to support everyone else as they’d clearly supported him. Most of all, though, Nagisa felt very happy.</p><p>“Hey, Nagisa,” Nakamura jabbed him with her elbow. “Do you have plans later?”</p><p>He seized a little at first, but relaxed when he actually heard her question. “N-not yet. Maybe I should celebrate?”</p><p>A smirk went on her face. “How about you come to rink this evening, after everyone’s finished for the day.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Just <em>trust</em> me.”</p><p>That was the perfect way to reignite Nagisa’s nerves. Unfortunately for him, he knew with experience that whatever Nakamura had planned, it probably wasn’t good and there was no way he’d be able to find out what it was. He’d still end up going, though, because he couldn’t deny his curiosity, especially when it came from her.</p><p>Although their small showcase only lasted for a few hours, Nagisa felt worn out by the end of it, and before he could even think about the time, the sun was starting to set. Though he was indeed invited out by Sugino and the others, Nagisa felt the urge to lag behind. Like some kind of instinctual sign that something was waiting for him.</p><p>Though the rink hadn’t locked up completely yet, it was dark and with the lack of heaters, slightly cold. Nagisa almost felt like he was doing something bad and not allowed, being there all on his own. He pressed on, though, because he had some kind of a feeling that he was where he was supposed to be. Thankfully, even without the lights, he knew the rink well enough to make it to the ice.</p><p>“K-karma kun,” he said in surprise. He seemed to have stormed off earlier, so he was almost the last person Nagisa expected to see, casually sat on the bench. He’d changed out of his costume by then, and the scary make up had been wiped off. It was just the two of them in their regular training gear.</p><p>Karma just looked at him casually. “Skate with me?”</p><p>“I don’t have my ska- “</p><p>“You can go get them, can’t you?”</p><p>It was true, Nagisa just kept his skates in the locker usually. It felt weird to part with them sometimes, but there was no point in them sitting lonely in his dorm. By the time he’d gone into the changing room and returned with them, Karma was already skating lazy figures around the ice. Apprehension built up for a moment, but he figured he didn’t have a lot to lose, and secured them to his feet.</p><p>“Karma kun,” he started, “did you- “</p><p>Karma stilled. “Hey, why do you use honorifics? You didn’t the first time we met.”</p><p>Blood rushed to his face. “I-I was surprised! I didn’t think I’d ever be talking to you in person… it kind of slipped out. B-but! I corrected it, though. And you do it too!”</p><p>Karma just shrugged, though. “Only because you started using them when you came here. I feel like stopping now, anyway. You okay with that?”</p><p>“That feels a little weird at this point…”</p><p>“I’ll just do it on my own then,” he mused, “<em>Nagisa</em>.”</p><p>His heart thumped inside his chest, and he couldn’t produce an actual human sound to follow it up. Instead he focused on the situation at hand. “About earlier…”</p><p>Karma spun on the spot, then facing away from him. “I won.”</p><p>“You already knew?”</p><p>He turned back. “Nobody told me the actual result. I could tell, though, from their faces before you even got onto the ice. I skated a clean routine, that was all I needed to do. The only way <em>you’d</em> get chosen over me is if you suddenly landed a quad axel.”</p><p>“Then why- “</p><p>Karma’s eyes sharpened with genuine anger, though it didn’t feel directed at <em>him</em> exactly. “I <em>won</em>, but you skated better than me. What’s the glory in celebrating <em>that</em> when I know I don’t really deserve it?”</p><p>“Oh,” Nagisa said, “you don’t know then.”</p><p>“Know what?”</p><p>He couldn’t hold it in anymore. “You won, but they still liked my routine enough. They decided to send both of us after all.”</p><p>Karma’s eyes widened. “<em>Huh?</em>”</p><p>“It’s the tru- “</p><p>Nagisa wasn’t given a chance to finish his sentence, before Karma grabbed him by both sides of his head, bent down, and slotted their lips together. Nagisa’s first instinct was one of alarm, and his hands went out to grip Karma’s forearms in the hope of pulling him off. Only about a second later, though, his entire body relaxed, and he had no will to fight him, eyes sliding closed.</p><p>Admittedly, Nagisa was rather lacking in kissing experience, but he could tell that it was good. He was drawn in, and started to move his lips in an attempt at a response. Questions of why this was happening and what it meant could come later, Nagisa’s entire focus in that moment was just on Karma himself, and it was absolutely wonderful.</p><p>Nagisa got so into it, though, that his attention to his surroundings completely melted away. It seemed to be the same case for Karma too, as he moved closer, pressing his weight into Nagisa a little. That posed an issue, since Karma was a lot bigger and heavier. Had they been on a normal surface, his grip on the floor would have kept him upright. Being on the ice meant there was no resistance, and Nagisa was too late to stop himself.</p><p>They both came crashing down.</p><p>Luckily, if there was one thing a pair of figure skaters like them were skilled at, it was catching their fall. They both reacted quickly, at least, so they weren’t crushing each other. The wind had been knocked out of him, though, and he struggled to catch his breath. There were a lot of surreal feelings going through his head, but he tried to shove all of that aside for right then, deciding to take the moment as it was and deal with all of that later.</p><p>For the next moment, they had nothing left to say.</p><p>“You’ll be coming all the way to the Grand Prix Finals in Milan, then?”</p><p>“I’m not sure if I’ll actually get that far,” Nagisa admitted. “But... hopefully.”</p><p>Karma’s eyes were bright, though. “It means we’ll have to spend a lot of time together.”</p><p>Nagisa flushed. “You’re right.”</p><p>“Besides,” Karma said, “a silver medal would look good on you, don’t you think?”</p><p>Nagisa’s brow creased. “Who said <em>I’m</em> getting silver?”</p><p>“Is that a challenge?” There was a dangerous flash.</p><p>“…Maybe?”</p><p>Karma laughed, then, getting to his feet first and offered a hand out. “Come on, we have a lot of work to do.”</p><p>Nagisa took it.</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Once again thanks to Pinklovely for her art! It can be viewed in slightly higher quality on her tumblr.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed this fic, please check out my <a href="https://discord.gg/BkFUevq">discord server</a> to come talk to me about it! You can also find me on tumblr at <a href="https://nagisasstunningpersonality.tumblr.com/">nagisasstunningpersonality</a> (ass class blog) and <a href="https://livixbobbiex.tumblr.com/">livixbobbiex</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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